Yes, it exists. Yes, it's graphic. Yes, you'll be able to download it soon.
The sportsbook Website BetUS.com is claiming to be the unlikely frontrunner in an even more unlikely bidding war over the distribution rights to a homemade sex tape featuring Dustin "Screech" Diamond.
In a press release Friday, the site boasts it's in final talks with the actor's reps to acquire and release the 50-minute video, featuring the former Saved by the Bell star and two unidentified women.
BetUs.com says it trumped more mainstream competition by contacting Diamond's people directly, rather than going through notorious porn peddler David Hans Schmidt, known as the "Sultan of Sleaze," who had previously claimed ownership of the salacious footage.
Publicly, however, Diamond maintains he has no connection with the
"This is definitely not going on with my approval," he told CNN's Showbiz Tonight of the tape's release. "This is not something that I condone."
Diamond claims he made the sex tape "a while ago," to show a group of friends, whom, he says, make similar videos to sexually one-up each other. The group meets monthly and scores each others' footage, awarding points for different "accomplishments" caught on tape.
"Screech is a pop culture icon who's begging for attention," BetUS.com spokesperson Christopher Bennett said in a statement. "You can't deny the irony of a grown child star appearing in a homemade adult film."
Or the irony of the demand for a homemade adult film featuring the sine qua non of a Saturday morning nerd.
Terms of the deal have not been disclosed--or finalized, pending approval by BetUS.com investors--though it's unlikely Diamond will have to resort to hawking any more autographed T-shirts for house-saving cash. (Diamond launched www.getDshirts.com earlier this year, in a bid to raise $250,000 to keep a bank from foreclosing on his Wisconsin digs.)
According to the gambling site, the video will be offered free of charge to its regular customers and will be available for download to nonmembers for $29.95.
While celebrity sex tapes are nothing new, Diamond's video turn, by all accounts, trumps Paris Hilton's, Colin Farrell's or Pamela Anderson's candid camera antics.
In a 42-second clip of the tape, available on TMZ.com, Diamond narrates the "unbelievably graphic" action between himself and the two women, which, well, climaxes with Diamond engaging one of the participants in a sex act known as a "dirty Sanchez."
The tape starts out with Diamond in a bathtub and a female voice informing him, "it's recording." By the end, Diamond is describing the scene in bleeped-out detail.
"Gentlemen, as always, I have gone above and beyond the call of duty," he says on the video.
As for Schmidt, while it appears he can no longer profit from the tape, he did give a big plug to Diamond's onscreen performance.
"It turns out, later in life, that the nerd guys and the geek guys become the big guys in the end, you know? No pun intended--or maybe pun intended at this point...if you buy the tape, you'll be able to see that," Schmidt told TMZ.com.
Not everyone is eagerly anticipating the footage.
The Web hosting site Globat.com, which recently hired the actor as its spokesman, claims Diamond knew the tape was coming out and should have informed the company before coming aboard.
"Through talks with his management, we knew they had something big planned--but never expected this," the company said in a statement. "We are reserving further judgment until further information is available."
Diamond, however, says the aforementioned "big plans" were forthcoming specials with ABC and Showtime.
"That's the big stuff that we were going to be talking about, not a private tape," he told Tampa's MJ morning radio show. "The company did do a joke about big packages for their Website, but that's just a fluke."
"This is not something that is a marketing or a media stunt...it's causing hell with my household."
Lisa Turtle must be so disappointed.