Anna Kendrick, the epitome of the cool chick that everyone wants to be friends with, turns 29 today. And in her less than 30 years on earth, she has already taught us more about life than our parents ever could. (Just kidding, mom and dad. For the most part).
Not only is Anna an Oscar-nominated actress, a player of the cups, beautiful and funny, but she is also so, so wise. And the proof is in her Twitter feed. Here is everything we learned following @AnnaKendrick47:
1. Live in the moment.
"I can do that. Hold my beer" - My last words, probably.? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) June 18, 2013
2. But plan for the future.
If I die unexpectedly can everyone just do the right thing and pretend I was a way better person than I am?? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 1, 2014
3. Never underestimate the complexity of your fellow man.
For someone with such an intense need to be liked you'd think I would have figured out how to be less of an asshole.? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) September 2, 2013
4. Be aware of your personal strengths and weaknesses.
5. It's the little things in life that matter.
I love that The Arclight plays movie scores in the bathroom. Makes me feel like the stakes are VERY high when I'm peeing.? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) June 5, 2013
So, there's NO existing service that rents puppies to people with hangovers? America, you have failed me.? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 3, 2014
7. Everyone has a right to privacy.
Hey fellow humans, when u see me out picking up prescriptions and want to get a photo, can u be super cool and just not do that? Thank you!!? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 19, 2014
Oh, "that's the price of fame" is it? I just wanna be able to pick up my Valtrex without the world knowing about it! Wait. Shit.? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 19, 2014
8. Most people lie.
Who "hates" to say I told you so? That's my favorite thing I get to say ever.? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) September 17, 2013
9. It's important to honor our past.
The saddest thing about the digital age is the next generation won't have that "nudie mag they found in the woods" experience. #culture? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 16, 2014
10. But believe that children are our future.
11. Science explains everything.
Why do I HAVE to eat 2 or 3 french fries before I can take a bite of a burger? Does this unlock some kind of force field? Call Bill Nye!!? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) December 17, 2013
12. Science explains nothing.
13. You can be anything you want to be, all you need to do is dream.
"So I'm talking to the, uh, what are they called? Pill Baristas?" ".....Pharmacist?"? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 12, 2013
14. Ass tattoos may not convey what you think they do.
I don't get why girls paint the "Chanel" symbol on their nails... I could tattoo it on my ass but it don't mean I'm fancy.? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 10, 2014
15. No one needs to ever call anyone on the phone, ever.
Texts: Cool! What does it say? Emails: Oh God... what do they want? Phone call: I basically assume someone has died.? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 17, 2013
16. And there is only one queen, and that queen is Queen Bey.
Guys, it happened. I met Beyonce. And she is an angel. And I am not worthy. And I will never stop shaking. #PatheticFanGirlOfTheYear? Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 27, 2014
And thus concludes the Gospel According to Anna.
Go forth, children, and live in the way of the Kendrick.