Ron P. Jaffe/FoxSuit up, bros and broettes!
It's time to plan the ultimate How I Met Your Mother finale party! Tonight, Ted Mosby's kids will finally get to take a bathroom break and catch up on the education, social life, and personal hygiene they've been missing out on for the past nine years when their father finally finishes his story, and you know a party is super necessary in order to send the most awesome sitcom up of them all off in style. We, of course, have put together the ultimate How I Met Your Finale Party Playbook. It's filled with explicit instructions on how to do the possimpible: say goodbye to a show that has (sometimes mostly) never been anything but legen…(wait for it)…
The Décor:
A giant banner that reads "Intervention"
A blue French horn (or any other horn instrument)
Two swords, arranged in an X on the wall.
A life-sized Stormtrooper
The Playlist (on repeat, obviously, before, after, and on commercial breaks):
"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" Yeah, OK, How I Met Your Mother has tons of music, but this is the only song you ever really need.
Bagpipes (put a bagpipes-only speaker in all the bedrooms. It'll be hilarious, trust us.)
Classical music, for the bathroom.
The Drinks:
A bottle (or several) of the finest Scotch (preferably a 30- to 50-year-old Glen McKenna, but if you can't find that due to it being fictional, the next best scotch will do)
Your favorite pineapple cocktail (perhaps a Bahama Mama) with tiny yellow umbrellas in it, but the bartender can never be seen making these. Have a separate, extra bartender just for Bahama Mamas, so they just appear without anyone asking for them or having any idea where they came from.
Peppermint Schnapps because drinking Peppermint Schnapps turns Barney into Richard Dawson, and who doesn't want to be Richard Dawson?
Beer, natch.
The Food:
Greet every guest at the door with a fancy cheese plate.
Regular fries with a few curly fries mixed in. Now understand us clearly here - not regular fries, not curly fries, regular fries with a few curly fries mixed in. Got it?
Sandwiches: big, small, turkey, whatever. Make sure you have enough for before, during, and after the airing of the episode. You would certainly not want to run out of sandwiches.
Mrs. Eriksen's Secret 7-Layer Salad: It's Funyuns and gummy bears and cabbage and sixteen cups of mayo! Note: After a few sandwiches, you may want to eat this. Don't.
The Clothing:
Suits: Duh.
Before the Episode:
Have your guests arrive a couple hours early. You can have a couple episodes or Robin Sparkles videos playing, but you'll be far too busy to watch them. Allow your guests to partake in the snacks, check out your decorations, and compare suits before the games begin.
The Games:
The Gentleman: In which you attempt to flip a top hat onto someone's (or a turkey's) head, and then shout, "The Gentleman!"
Drunk or Kid: Everyone takes turns telling a story from either their childhood or a drunken escapade, and everyone else tries to guess which one it was.
Baskiceball: For if you're particularly adventurous and prone to violence. It's a mashup of basketball and ice hockey. There are no rules.
Laser Tag: You can buy kits for this, and you really should. It is important.
Haaaave You Met…?: Make sure that the invite list for your party involves lots of single people who don't know each other. Use the Olive Theory to match up guests with each other, and then take on the role of the ultimate wingman/wingwoman for all of your friends with Barney's tried and (kind of) true method.
Slap Bet: Make your slap bet towards the beginning of the evening, but after a few drinks. The entire group can make one bet, or there can be many individual bets. Decide how you think the show will end – Is the mother dead? Is Barney dead? Is there some sort of twist that renders the mother not the mother at all? Will Barney and Robin stay together? Where did the pineapple come from? Is the mother's name actually Tracy? Are they all dead? Was the wedding weekend actually just a sort of purgatory meant to take them all to the afterlife together? Make sure to deem your most trustworthy, impartial friend Slap Bet Commissioner.
During the Episode:
Make sure your drinks are full and at the ready, because you're going to play the Ultimate HIMYM Series Finale Drinking Game!
Drink when:
A running gag appears or is referenced
Anyone definitively loses their slap bet
Anyone on screen or in the room says "Awesome," "Bro," "Legendary," "Son of a Bitch," or other terms that you may deem appropriate
Take a shot when:
A mystery is solved
A time jump occurs
We learn the Mother's name
Drink literally everything in sight when:
Ted finally meets the Mother
Fall over in blissful contentedness when:
We finally learn the answer to the pineapple incident
After the Episode:
Cry. This may go on for many minutes or even hours. It has, after all, been nine long years of waiting to see Ted meet his freakin' wife. We may cry from sadness, we may cry from happiness, we may cry from the sheer pleasure of freedom from having to wonder when Ted would just get it together already, but we will certainly cry. Make sure there are tissues handy.
Settle the slap bets. If you lose, choose your punishment: 10 slaps now, or 5 slaps at any point for the rest of eternity. The ten slaps shall be doled out immediately, in the presence of all other party guests. It is appropriate here to pause the "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" playlist for a quick rendition of "You Just Got Slapped." However, we would like to point out that if a slap bet loser chooses to take the 5 slaps option, it could be seen as the HIMYM finale party – and thus, the finale itself – also continuing for all of eternity, just as it should.
And make sure to check back here on E! Online because we will be sobbing into our keyboards to produce all the heartfelt coverage you need—and an exclusive behind the scenes look at the Mother's wedding dress!
…dary.