by Natalie Finn | Tue., Mar. 25, 2014 4:44 PM
Gwyneth Paltrow has said many times over that marriage isn't easy, and that hers in particular has had its downs along with the ups.
And we learned today for the umpteenth time that where there's smoke and an excessive amount of public reflection...
The Oscar winner announced today via a joint statement posted to her Goop lifestyle site that she and husband Chris Martin had separated after 10 years of marriage, two gorgeous children together and "well over a year" of trying to work things out.
But while that is certainly sad news we can't call it a shocking split, despite the recent spate of togetherness that provided what normally would have been a year's worth of photo ops of the couple. Rather, the couple gave us too many clues ahead of time that this very thing might happen.
Here are five of them:
1. No Red Carpet Pics. None. Not a One: Well, except for this, in which they weren't actually snapped next to each other at the Met Costume Gala last year. Sure, they've attended awards shows together, even as recently as this year's Golden Globes. (Wouldn't you get suspicious if your spouse never took you to a work party?) The wish to remain private we understand, considering how fleeting such a concept is in Hollywood. But once you're at the event, why don't you walk and pose together? Fine, just walk. Or don't pose. Just stand there for a sec, together, side by side. Would've been nice to have one to remember you by. "We still just try and keep that whole thing quiet," Martin told CBS News in October 2011, one of only a handful of times he ever talked about his marriage. "Well, up till now, yeah."
2. Cheating Rumors: They don't even have to be true. But constantly being plagued by reports (often resulting in wretched, wretched schadenfreude) that your partner is stepping out on you—including the recent rumor gauntlet that Paltrow had to run—has got to take its toll. And of course, a partner actually doing so would be worse. Not everyone can be Paul "Why go out for a hamburger when you have steak at home?" Newman. Back in 2011, Paltrow told Britain's Daily Telegraph: "Life is complicated and long and I know people that I respect and admire and look up to who have had extra-marital affairs. It's like we're flawed—we're human beings and sometimes you make choices that other people are going to judge." And we don't know if it was avert-your-eyes uncomfortable or open-minded and triumphant when Paltrow reiterated in an interview with Refinery 29 in September, that, when it came to infidelity, she "would like to think that I would be forgiving and/or forgiven, but I can't give an honest answer as I haven't really experienced that."
3. Not Just Sometimes: Not long after they passed the seven-year mark (they don't call it the seven-year itch for nothing), it was like a nonstop state-of-the-union speech from Paltrow. "Sometimes it's hard being with someone for a long time," she said in the September 2011 issue of Elle. "We go through periods that aren't all rosy. I always say, life is long and you never know what's going to happen." But at least Paltrow added, in what we now see as a heartening remark: "If, God forbid, we were ever not to be together, I respect him so much as the father of my children. Like, I made such a good choice. He's such a good dad."
4. Creative Differences: In the October 2012 issue of InStyle (could there be a forum to which celebs complain less?), Paltrow attributed a certain friction in her and Martin's marriage to their "artistic temperaments. Artists are sensitive; there are ups and downs moodwise. Musicians need a certain gravitas and focus in order to write. The temperament that goes with someone who is creative can be challenging...I focus more on understanding than being understood." In hindsight, she was basically saying she was the one putting in all the effort into keeping the peace.
5. Foresight Is 20/20 Too: "It's hard being married. You go through great times, you go through terrible times. We're the same as any couple," Paltrow said in the May 2013 issue of Glamour U.K. "I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?' And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.' And I think that's what happens. When two people throw in the towel at the same time, then you break up, but if one person's saying: ‘Come on, we can do this,' you carry on. I've learned more about myself by being married than anything else. I hate to say, ‘We've got it worked out,' because you never know what's going to happen, but we laugh, we're good friends, we like to do the same stuff."
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