Star Jones Reynolds would like to set the record straight: Reports of a boob job-induced medical crisis are greatly inflated.

On Monday morning, The View cohost called her cohorts live from Los Angeles, where she is recovering from said surgery, to refute dire tabloid reports of internal bleeding and emergency hospitalization due to complications from last week's procedure.

"I did not almost die," she reported, no doubt heartening millions of worried fans, us included.

Jones Reynolds admitted that she had a breast lift and had gotten implants in an effort to beautify her now-slender bod--she has recently shed 150 pounds and has dropped from a size 26 to a size 10. "I had a boob lift," she informed her compatriots. "I thought it would be nice to call you guys this morning and keep you abreast of the situation."

Cue the rimshot.

But when it came to a widely disseminated National Enquirer story that claimed she was on her deathbed following the surgery due to internal bleeding, Jones Reynolds got serious.

"You guys know I'm anemic. We've talk about it on the show. I did need blood, and I was prepared," she said. "Literally, I was fine right afterwards. I was completely awake while getting my blood." She was released from the hospital on Mar. 21.

While she did not comment on reports that she also had a tummy tuck, she did brag a bit about her new breasts, which she described as "normal boobs...not triple Ds."

"Friday was my 44th birthday, but my boobs think they are still 20," she laughed.

And we're sure that will delight hubby Al Reynolds, whom she married in 2004.

Jones Reynolds will return to The View couch next week (the show is in reruns for the rest of this week), with her new boobs likely to be the center of attention. "Will we be able to touch them?" cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck asked during the phoner, to which Jones Reynolds retorted: "Elisabeth, you are such a freak."

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