Chris Jackson/Getty ImagesPrince William and Kate Middleton rented out the five-star Cheval Blanc Randheli resort on the Noonu Atoll, on the northwest of the Maldives archipelago last week for a special family vacation.
The couple, who were joined by Kate's parents, Michael and Carole Middleton, did their best to keep a low profile during their beachside getaway.
E! News confirmed that the royal duo spent arrived at Ibrahim Nasir International Airport Thursday on a British Airways flight, without their wee one, Prince George.
Camilla Long, a reporter for The Sunday Times, visited the elite hotel to get her taste of living like a royal, but she came across a few things she didn't see coming.
It turns out that the hotel boasts several well, odd, amenities for its guests. Let's just say this isn't your run-of-the-mill swanky hotel, and that it may be best to leave the kids at home for this particular setting.
Here's a breakdown of the five craziest things about where Wills and Kate stayed:
1. The Food's Not That Great: Long explained that after several expensive meals, including an almost $400 lunch for two people, she was left less than satisfied with the resort's fare.
2. You Get Your Own Personal Assistant: Each guest is entitled to two staff members who are ready and able to be at your beck and call at any hour of the night.
3. On Days Ending With "Y," We Wear Taupe: Cheval's official color is taupe, people. So be sure to add some into your suitcase before you board a flight to the stunning grounds. There's also an official watch, but that'll cost you $38,600. The plus side to the pricey timepiece? It's completely waterproof and can be taken down to 4,000 meters. You know, if you need that sort of thing when you're all the way down there.
4. Pillows Are Serious Business: Forget your sleep number, this hotel comes with a resident "Pillow Alchemist," someone whose sole job is to create the perfect pillow experience for you. Feeling a slight ache in your neck? No problem. Just let the alchemist walk you through the pillow menu (yes, that's a thing) so you two can decide on a better option for you.
5. There's a Kit for That: Included in each villa's bedside nightstand are an iPad and a sex kit. Just add a few pillows of your choosing and get creative!
Now if only we could scrounge up the funds (approximately $1,000 a night) to visit the edgy resort…