Tonight is the most glamorous night of the year: The Academy Awards! All of the stars will be dressed to the nines, handing out awards to each other for courageous, transformative, tour-de-force performances and just being otherwise all around classy.
Meanwhile, we'll be watching at home, getting CRUUUUUUUUUUUNK. Come along, get crunk with us by playing E!'s official Academy Awards drinking game. [DISCLAIMER: Moderate levels of crunk are OK, but be safe out there, friends.]
Take A Sip:
Every one (1) sip any time someone thanks:
Their manager
Their agent
Their publicist
God
Every time Anna Kendrick is absolutely delightful (take additional sips for every Anna Kendrick quote that is livetweeted on your feed during the Oscars).
Every time someone makes a joke about Pharrell's giant hat.
If one of your friends complains about either Anne Hathaway or Angelina Jolie (easy targets).
Take three quick sips every time Matthew McConaughey says "alright, alright, alright."
Every time a winner gives a shout out to their kids at home (The Amy Adams Rule).
Take a Shot:
For every swear word that does not get bleeped (The Melissa Leo Rule).
If (when) Leonardo DiCaprio loses and looks sad. (Feel free to take a shot every time you see the Sad Leo meme in the following days.)
Every time a winner cries (unless it's Lupita Nyong'o, at which point you must stand up and applaud).
For every awkward mention of Woody Allen. Take two (2) shots if Woody Allen wins an award and an awkward acceptance speech is given in his honor.
** Special Best Picture Winner Specific Shots **
If American Hustle wins, take a shot of the oldest bottle you have in your liquor cabinet.
If Captain Phillips wins, take a shot of Captain and shout "I'm de Captain now!"
If Dallas Buyers Club wins, take a shot of beer. (Please abstain from a hit of cocaine.)
If Gravity wins, substitute a shot for a gravity bong.
If Her wins, take a shot of apple-flavored vodka or schnapps (get it, because apple and Apple and the movie is basically about falling in love with Siri? This one was maybe a stretch...)
If Nebraska wins, take a shot with your parents (a shot over FaceTime is acceptable).
If Philomena wins, take a shot of red wine, you classy son of a bitch.
If 12 Years a Slave wins, show some respect.
If The Wolf of Wall Street wins, take a shot of vodka (and then another and another and another and another) and then if you really want to celebrate take a f--king Quaalude.
Waterfall:
Whenever the camera cuts to someone who just lost an award, for the entire time that loser is onscreen.
Whenever they use music to play someone off, for as long as that person keeps talking over the music.
Whenever Ellen DeGeneres dances, for as long as Ellen continues dancing.
When Idina Menzel hits the amazing note at the end of "Let It Go." Continue drinking until the song is over.
Chug If:
Jennifer Lawrence trips (again).