YouTubeForget about Taylor Swift's haircut (but only for a few seconds because she looks so pretty); the only thing we need to talk about right now is the fact that Billy Ray Cyrus' song sequel to "Achy Breaky Heart" is here! And it has a video and everything!
Technically, "Achy Breaky 2" is a song by Buck 22 and it merely features Billy Ray Cyrus. But the point is that this song and this video exist and we need to talk about the most ridiculous parts of it.
To be fair, this whole video is ridiculous, but we found the most ridiculous of the ridiculous moments:
Nothing says "hip-hop music video" like 30 uninterrupted seconds of Larry King as an introduction.
Billy Ray and his young friend are walking in an homage to The Andy Griffith Show when they get abducted by terrible special effects…
…Buck 22 is transformed from a little boy to a grown man when he arrives on the space ship, but why does Billy Ray remain the same age?
Then we are introduced to these space women who we think are supposed to be weird, sexy aliens. One of those words accurately describe the space women. Spoiler: It's not the word "sexy."
Billy's shirt was attacked by the sleeve monster. And now he's rapping the chorus to his hit song from 1992.
What we thought for a second were space dildos turned out to be space hookah.
OK, lot's of questions about this part: Who are these women watching Billy Ray's spaceship concert? How did they get there? Are they also prisoners of this alien race? Is this their punishment? How long have they been there? And are they simply dancing to the music or are they trying to signal for help using their bodies?
Wait, why is the kid back again?
Where are they taking Miley's dad?!
Suddenly a random paparazzi dude appears to take photos of this historic event. He will undoubtedly sell them to TMZ and they will run the pics with a headline about Billy Ray's addiction to space-jamming.
Please don't bring Miley into this. Honestly, she's better than what's going on here.
"That is the title of one of my daughter's hit singles!"
What's happening?
Annd now we're back in the '90s with these background dancers clad in puffy pink jackets.
It's over. Guys, please do not celebrate anything that just happened.