YouTubeCrystal balls? So last year. Tea leaves? Get that weak mess outta here. Astrology? That's the devil's science! Asparagus? Now we're talking. Because when it comes to predicting the future, we only trust vegetables.
Seriously, there is a woman in England who uses asparagus to tell the future. Jemima Packington, 58, has been a practicing Asparamancer (that's a thing, and she's the only human in the world who does this thing), since she was eight years old. So how does it work? Glad you asked.
Basically, she throws asparagus spears into the air and she "reads" the pattern they make when they fall to the ground.
"My great-aunt read tea leaves and I have inherited her gift," she said. "It might sound silly but I was about 80% accurate in 2013."
She also claims to have correctly predicted things like Kate Middleton's pregnancy and the 2012 defeat of politician Gordon Brown.
So what will 2014 bring her country? Her recent readings include a royal death, a royal wedding (looking at you, Prince Harry), more terrible weather (what else is new?) and some disappointment for England during the World Cup.
Oh, and One Direction fans better gird their loins, because she believes that a "musical supergroup" will split this year.
Check out Jemima in action below: