McDonald's Heroin


Anything Burger King does, McDonald's can do better. Or worse, in this particular story. 

Remember last year when a 4-year-old found a marijuana pipe in a Burger King Kids Meal? You may have forgotten, as it was right around the night the proverbial s--t hit in the fan in the fast food industry and every other day was a story about someone licking something or threatening to blow up a Dunkin Donuts from Mars. 

Well a Mickey D's employee has one-upped that stoner, dealing heroin via Happy Meals.

Shantia Dennis, 26, was arrested earlier this week for allegedly selling heroin to two undercover narcotics officers that came through the drive-thru at her Pittsburgh McDonald's (Shantia denies it).

Apparently customers would call ahead to place their order, drive through and say, "I'd like to order a toy." Asking for a boy toy, specifically, was code for wanting heroin, according to CNN.

The undercover cops did just that and paid $82 for their Happy Meal (for any aspiring detectives out there, a Happy Meal usually costs approximately $2, so that is what people in the business call a clue). The second clue that Shantia was dealing was that the cops then received a Happy Meal containing 10 bags of heroin.

After being arrested, police found another brick of heroin in her purse "marked with the stamp ‘Nite Nite Niga,'" ABC News reports. The L.A. Times also notes that this is the second time this year where a McDonald's employee in Pennsylvania was accused of dealing heroin.

 "It surprises the hell out of me," Hackee Everett told CNN in an interview. If you're wondering who Hackee Everett is, CNN helpfully labels him a "McDonald's Customer."

"That you can come to McDonald's and get a Happy Meal and some fries and a bag of dope. C'mon, man," he continues, in what might possibly be the most pointless commentary ever. 

Meanwhile, the Chief of Police in the case says, "It would be very dangerous for a child to get this heroin." So now you know why he is the Chief of Police. Nothing gets past him.

Shantia has been charged with two counts of possession (heroin and marijuana), one count of criminal use of a cellphone, one count of prohibited acts of delivery and one count of possession with intent to deliver.

For clarification: McDonald's does not deliver. Just the drug dealers that work there.

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