Splash NewsJustin Bieber, that nice Canadian kid you were best friends with in middle school then he went on a world tour and when he came back he wouldn't wear a shirt and he was totally weird and we guess now he smokes weed and drag races, has made some questionable fashion choices in his life.
Not the least of which are these shorts. What the f--k are these shorts?
We have so many questions about these baggy leather shorts. First of all, why are you wearing baggy leather shorts? Comfort? Wouldn't regular shorts be more comfortable? Style? No. The functionality? You're at the beach and we doubt these double as a baggy leather swimsuit.
And these shorts aren't even the most ridiculous fashion choice Bieber has made. They aren't even the most ridiculous fashion choice he's made in the past few months.
Consider any of these:
Drop-Crotch Pants: They're skinny jeans for your shins and a diaper for everything above the knee? Honestly, this must be something "the kids" are doing "these days" that we just don't get (Bieber isn't the only one who wears them), but they look awful, like he's missing about 30 pounds of butt, and anyway who wants to drag around all that extra fabric?
Leather Sweatpants: The whole point of sweatpants is that they aren't like regular old pants that may be constricting or uncomfortable. They're so roomy! They're so cozy! You're free in sweatpants! But these business casual sweats make absolutely no sense: They are not dressy enough to pass as real pants (Biebs, we can tell you're wearing sweatpants because we have eyes) and they are leather, so you can't work out in them or nap in them or spend the whole day sitting on the couch watching The Good Wife in them.
Knee-Pocket Pants: What? Why? What would you even put in knee pockets? And why can you not just put whatever that is in your regular pockets? (Sidebar: This is the first time we've seen these knee-pocket pants. Please tell us wearing them with the pocket flipped out is not a thing. If it is, stop that now.)
This Onesie: We love a good onesie, but a onesie as real clothes is just asking for trouble. We better Bieber wasn't looking as "swaggy" when he realized he had to go to the bathroom and found himself completely naked in a public bathroom stall.
These Sunglasses: Not the frames, even—we love the gender-bending-accessorizing (these are ladies' shades, yeah?)—but there is only one type of person that can wear sunglasses at night: (1) Blind people.
These Glasses: These aren't prescription! They don't even have lenses in them!
This Ski Mask: Outside of skiing or burglarizing, there is no reason to be wearing a ski mask. Let alone one with a giant Chanel logo on it (if you have enough money to waste on a designer ski mask, you do not need to steal any more).
This Hat: This hat.
All those fashion choices and Bieber has still never chosen to wear a belt.
Maybe a belt is simply too logical.
Bonus! While there is nothing functionally wrong with this outfit, it just looks super-stupid.