House Hunters


How many episodes of HGTV's House Hunters do you have on your DVR right now? If the answer is more than three, come on in! We have some fun mini games for you! If your answer is zero, then get the hell out of here. Unless your answer is zero because you've already watched all your taped episodes and deleted them to keep your DVR clean, in which case, you can stay.

If you watch as much of this show as we do, then you know there are many things to entertain you besides the actual house hunt.  The bickering couple. The high hopes that will ultimately get crushed by the economy. The mention of "man cave" or "open concept." Yes, an episode of House Hunters is full of opportunities for little side games you can play. For your perusal, here are seven mini games you can participate in while watching someone house hunt on HGTV: 

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1. Why Is He/She With Her/Him?  Usually you play this game in life while at a party or people watching at a bar, but you can play this with House Hunters. You know the couple we're talking about. A really hot girl is with this derpy looking guy. Or a sweet, handsome man is with this totally awful chick. Now the game is figuring out why he or she is with the other one before they hit the first house. "Hi, I'm Nick, I'm 31 and I'm an heir to the Pop-Tarts fortune…." Oh, got it. She's with you for the money.  

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2. Divorce? When? There is nothing more uncomfortable (or more entertaining) than watching a couple who clearly don't really like each other all that much. Sly jabs about his hobbies, subtle digs at her lack of cooking skills, etc. And of course there's the fight about having kids when they look at a spare bedroom that one of them claims "would make a great nursery!" Maybe that's a topic you should've breached before getting married? 

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3. How Soon Into the House Tour Will They Complain/Only Notice the Paint Color? We always keep it at less than two minutes in. Someone will not like the paint color, that's a given. But this game is really about the person focusing on the paint color and dismissing the house because of it. Yes, because you can't change the color of your walls. That is load-bearing paint. Don't touch it! 

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4. Guess the Delusional Budget: "So we want at least four bedrooms, in the city, with a yard, upgraded, move-in ready, at least 3,000 square feet and in walking distance to the hippest shops." OK, that's a long list of things but it's not unreasonable to want all that. So your budget must be around 500,000 dollars? "Our budget is 150,000 dollars." Oh, s--t. Yeah, you're going to have to eliminate like, most of those items on your wish list. But you'll almost most definitely get a house with a roof with that money. Try this game at home! After they give you their long list of what they want in a house, try and guess what their budget is. More often than not, they are seriously kidding themselves.

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5. My Town! I Know That Place! I've Been There! Is this House Hunters set in your city? Make sure you stop and pause every time you think you might recognize a street you may have walked near once. And of course when they show your city's most famous landmark, roll your eyes about how HGTV should've picked something a little less mainstream to show. "Ugh, stop showing the Hollywood sign! What about that small Silver Lake movie theater that shows only foreign movies about farming? Now that's what Los Angeles is about."

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6. What Do They Consider Remodeling? A lot of House Hunters ends in people getting a house that they "must remodel immediately!" Or it's a "total gut job!" To some people, that means tearing down walls and replacing floors. To other people, their version of "gutting a room" means taking down wallpaper and maybe putting in new fixtures. That is not the same thing. Try and guess if the couple or person you're watching is actually going to remodel something, or if their idea of fixing the house up is buying a new fridge.

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7. The End Party: As most House Hunters fans know, the episode always ends with friends and family gathering at the new house for a meal and a toast. Our personal favorite game, especially if one of them claims they "love to cook," is to guess what they will be serving at this get together. Are they actually going to cook something? More often than not, the couples idea of cooking is chopping vegetables for a platter and unwrapping some frozen appetizers to put in the oven. This is especially infuriating if they end up with a kitchen that gives us a culinary boner. That place is meant to be cooked in! Like, actual cooking. Slicing up a tomato is not the same thing! Grilling is OK. We'll accept people who actually grill.  

What's your favorite game to play while watching House Hunters?

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