by Erik Pedersen | Sun., Jan. 12, 2014 9:12 PM
Whether you're on the lookout for Jennifer Lawrence's latest hijinks or seeing how Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts will tease George Clooney, the splashy, champagne-fueled awards show promises to be the loosest, funniest awards show of the entire season.
So did Fey and Poehler pull it off this year? Or did they get upstaged by some goofy antics? Read on for the best and worst moments of the night!
Best Openers: Poehler and Fey killed it. Whether they were calling Matt Damon "basically a garbage person" or talking about Jonah Hill masturbating at a pool party, they hit the right the note of decorum, dignity and jokes about supermodel vaginas. (Our favorite? Explaining that the film Gravity was "the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age." Boom!)
Best Flash From the Past: Jennifer Lawrence, who won last year for Silver Linings Playbook, won the night's first award, and it was a rerun worth watching as the young star cracked up the crowd and appeared genuinely shocked (though she may have been the only one who was).
Biggest Show-Stopper: Jacqueline Bisset's extra-long journey to the podium, followed by a long stretch of not knowing what to say, made for a literally show-stopping performance, especially when she refused to leave the podium and started dropping curse words. Awesome.
Trend Watch: Three winners claimed to have the shakes, while at least two got bleeped for saying "s--t" and a whole bunch had to trudge from the back of the room to pick up their awards. And that was just the first hour.
Most Ludicrous Conspiracy Theory: Speaking of slogging all the way from the back of the room, we weren't fooled by the decision to make stars walk for, like, blocks up to get their awards. We get it, Hollywood, we need more lanes for hybrid and electric limousines.
Biggest Good Sport: Matt Damon walked out and announced, "It's me, the garbage man." (And later, he watched Melissa McCarthy do a goofy impression of him.)
Worst Prompter Fail: Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie were given the wrong intro for their presenting bit, but the pair gamely made do introducing the Wolf of Wall Street reading from a piece of yellow legal paper. That's worth an award, right? Come on, it's the Globes!
Most Unlikely Combination: We don't know why someone chose to put Kate Beckinsale, Usher and Sean "Diddy" Combs together, but we liked it—especially because the ebullient Diddy seemed ready to take over hosting the show. (Though Bono might have his own ideas about that.)
Nicest Putdown: Jim Carrey arrived acting full-on goofy and we loved it, especially when he offered, "'Dying is easy, comedy is hard.' I believe it was Shia LaBeouf who said that." Can't wait to see Shia's apology for that.
Most McConaughey: Super-handsome and charming Matthew McConaughey won the Best Actor award and then got kissed by his beautiful wife Camila and gave a rousing, rambling, crowd-pleasingly folksy speech that was SO MCCONAUGHEY we couldn't imagine anyone else having won.
TMI Moment: Sure, we love talking about actors like McConaughey losing weight for a role, but Jared Leto's revelation that he waxed his private parts for his Globes-winning performance was more than we needed to know by a hair.
Though a Runner-Up Might Be: David O. Russell and American Hustle did pretty well through the night, but it was a little surprising to hear Best Original Screenplay winner Spike Jonze thanking Russell for all his help on Jonze's winning script.
OK, No, Really the Worst Least Likely Outcome: We love Andy Samberg so we can live with his surprise win, but in what universe does Brooklyn Nine-Nine win Best Comedy Series over Modern Family, Parks & Recreation, Girls and Big Bang Theory? Samberg, we'll have what you're having.
Biggest Bono-er: Amy Poehler not only won an award (and dressed up as a boy), but she celebrated by making out with Bono (who'd been massaging her prior to her win, so it's a win-win…win!).
Worst Critic: Bryan Cranston finished his speech and walked off making a face and shaking his head, though he'd given a fine speech.
Most Deserving: Leonardo DiCaprio won for Wolf of Wall Street, which seems only fair considering he had to watch Jonah Hill "performance" pleasuring himself poolside. He earned it, people.
Best Introduction…Ever: DiCaprio capped his win by receiving the following introduction from Fey and Poehler, "And now like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio."
And That's the Best: Fey and Poehler kept their promise and brought the show in on time.
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