Goop, StarTraksGwyneth Paltrow, America's favorite aunt who just loves having wine and crafts parties with all her gal pals and fills your Facebook feed with her favorite Pinterest "looks yummy!" recipes and Farmville requests, heard about that "Polar Vortex" and is worried you're not going to be warm enough.
Today, Aunt Gwynie's GOOP newsletter ("a weekly publication curated by Gwyneth Paltrow") included her picks for "#PolarVortex Essentials," "Day and night outfit inspiration for surviving these frigid temps."
"Major score that a lot of these pieces are on sale!" Auntie Gwyn adds as she clips coupons from the Penny Saver and puts them into her laminated coupon binder. But even though she is well intentioned, she sometimes forgets that—uh oh!—she's a millionaire.
So how much will Gwyneth's #PolarVortex essentials set you back?
Day:
Alexander Wang Beanie ("with a hole in the back for a ponytail…genius"): $120
Kodiak Parka Parajumper ("One of the warmest we've found"): $375
Isabel Marant ‘Owel' Coulour-Block Sweater: $320.44
Rag & Bone "Preston" Skinny Jeans: $198
Uniqlo heattech tights ("to wear under skinny jeans"): $12.90
Isabel Marant Étoile shearing-lined boots: $840
Total: $1,866.34
Night:
Helmut Lang leather puffer jacket: $1,425
MCQ by Alexander McQueen knitted wool dress: $679.43
Thomasine ‘Paris' Gloves: $278.59
Tom Ford Zipper-Heel Over-the-Knee Leather Boots: $1,990
Time's Arrow Black Metallic Mini Triology Leather Shoulder Bag: $550
Wolford Merino Wool-Tights ("the best ones we've tried"): $69
Total: $4,992.02
Not sure how a $550 bag is going to keep you warm, but so Gwyneth said and so it shall be.
The grand total for a full day of GOOP-approved winter clothing: $6,958.36
And remember, you can only wear each outfit once because, ew, what are you? Poor?