Well this just ruined our day. But congratulations, Molly Schuyler?
The competitive eater and mother of four from Minnesota completely obliterated the world record for Fastest Eating of a 72-Ounce Steak. The previous record was set by Peter "Furious Pete" Czerwinski (6 minutes and 48 seconds), but Molly finished in 2 minutes and 44 seconds.
How a human being who weighs only 120 pounds could do that is a mystery—except it's not, because you can watch the entire disgusting, glorious, horrific, impressive, erotic (what? we like food...) event in the video above.
Just don't plan on wanting to eat lunch afterward.