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The Bachelor's Lauren Higginson Speaks Out About Her Premiere Meltdown: "I Felt Sorry for Myself"

Exclusive! The eliminated season 18 contestant admits to E! News that she looked like "an idiot" during her time with Juan Pablo Galavis on the Jan. 6 ep of the ABC reality hit

By Tierney Bricker, Baker Machado Jan 08, 2014 1:27 AMTags
Lauren Higginson, The BachelorABC/Craig Sjodin

A few ladies always stand out during The Bachelor's season premiere, but not always in a good way.

Lauren Higginson was one of season 18's contestants who caused quite a social media stir after she had a meltdown watching Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis meet with the 26 other women. After revealing she had been dumped by her fiancé just five months before coming on the show, it was clear that the 25-year-old Lauren might not have been ready to move on, leading Juan Pablo to send her home at the end of the first night. Now, Lauren is exclusively talking to us about her short time on the ABC reality hit and her thoughts on her portrayal.

"I didn't really know what to expect," Lauren tells E! News of her expectations tuning into the premiere on Monday night. "I knew they would use that little meltdown. There have been a lot of people who have been really nice and felt sorry for me and I hate that because I don't want that, but it's one of those deals that I was very dramatic, so what can you do?"

As for her constant crying throughout the cocktail reception, Lauren explains, "There were tears, those were real. The words that came out of my mouth were real, but in terms of the order or the context absolutely not. But most importantly I'm sitting there crying like, ‘I have really good energy,' and I'm looking at that going, 'Good lord, I really do have good energy. Lock it up woman!'"

But Lauren reveals that the show's producers edited her talk with Juan Pablo to make her look like "an idiot" and framed it in such a way that "I actually felt sorry for myself," she tells us.

"The talk with [Juan Pablo] I actually had to leave the room, because it was painful. First off, [producers] took out all [Juan Pablo's] dialog, seriously I did have an actual conversation [with Juan Pablo] so it just had me talking. So of course I looked like an idiot," she says. "The dramatic part I was ready for—I did that—but I did not like looking ignorant. So that bugged me more than anything. I can have a conversation, good lord!"

ABC/Craig Sjodin

In fact, Lauren said producers wanted her to talk about her previous engagement with Juan Pablo. "I discussed this with producers before…I was like, really, the only thing we have in common is him having a daughter and I was engaged to somebody who had a son? So I understood the part of how hard it is to incorporate somebody with a young son because they are the priority. That was the conversation we had and he was very receptive to that. I did what I was advised to talk about."

But Lauren harbors no ill will towards Juan Pablo for eliminating her on the first night.

"Obviously I want him to be happy. I'm very much a goofy person and I went into it knowing the connection would be tough," she says. "Honestly, there are no hard feelings towards him, it was a stretch to begin with, but he was very kind. Maybe he just needs to know that I'm OK and I wasn't crying for him, so don't feel bad."

She adds, "It was a great experience and seriously doing this, my engagement was broken off five months before, so it really gave me something to look forward to and helped me through my break up."

So is Lauren dating now?

 "I've gone on some dates for sure, but I have nothing exclusive. I've had a good time and I've been working a lot," she tells us. "So I'm just going to do what I should have done a long time ago and just take some time for myself."

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.