Candace Cameron Bure Defends Being "Submissive" to Husband: It's the "Biblical Definition"

"It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. And that's what I choose to have in my marriage," the former Full House star said on HuffPost Live

By Alyssa Toomey Jan 07, 2014 6:26 PMTags
Candace Cameron Bure, Valeri BureCraig Barritt/Getty Images

While Candace Cameron Bure has been happily married to ex-NHL player Valeri Bure for 17 years, her conservative views on marriage may come as a shock to many in modern day.

The erstwhile Full House star, who has three children with her hubby, recently appeared on HuffPost Live where she opened up about her "submissive" role as a wife, which she outlines in her book, Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose and explained her reasoning for letting her man make the final decision—even if she may not always agree.

Bure writes in her book: "My husband is a natural born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work."

And when host Nancy Redd suggests that the 37-year-old star's views may seem controversial to many, Candace clarified the meaning behind her use of the word submissive.

"The definition I'm using with the word submissive is the biblical definition of that," she explained. "So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. And that's what I choose to have in my marriage."

Bure continued, insisting she still has somewhat of a say when it comes to making major decisions in their family.

"Listen, I love that my man is a leader. I want him to lead and be the head of our family and those major decisions do fall on him. It doesn't mean I don't voice my opinion and it doesn't mean I don't have an opinion—I absolutely do but it is very difficult to have two heads of authority," the mother of three admitted. "It doesn't work...And when you're competing with two heads that can pose a lot of problems or issues. So within my marriage we are equal in our importance," she said before pausing, taking a moment to carefully chose her wording, "But we are different in our performances in our marriage."

And when Redd notes that Bure writes in her book that her husband is always right even if the couple disagrees, the author defends herself.

"It doesn't mean he's right—I allow him to make the final choice," she said. "But obviously I will make my opinion very clear and clearly, I have been married for 17 years and we have a very happy marriage and it works very well. I trust my husband. That trust has been built and I know that because I trust him and I build him up and give him the respect that he would like to have within our marriage, so he listens to everything that I have to say and takes my opinion very seriously and many of the times he will sway to what I would like even if he doesn't see eye to eye with me because he really values my opinion."

She added: "So again I use that word [submissive], but I feel like it's taken so strongly when I'm kind of like, 'Everyone just calm down.'"