Crying Baby


The top 100 baby names of 2013 were already pretty weird—some of the most popular were Jordyn, Kaelyn and Brayden with a Y. As in, "Why would you name your child Kaelyn?" So fair warning that the most "extraordinary" names of 2013 are a mixed bag of bats--t craziness. 

Bounty Parenting Club released their annual report and explained, "Celebrities are renowned for choosing unusual names...and our records show that some parents are following this trend in an effort to stand out from the crowd." 

They continue, "It seems that the sky's the limit when it comes to creating something unique."

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By "the sky," they most certainly mean "the fridge." And by "unique," they mean Pepsi.

Someone named their daughter Pepsi.

Let's analyze some of these names, starting with the boys. The No. 1 "extraordinary" name for boys is Tiger, which is extraordinary in that it's an animal and a professional golfer who makes questionable life choices. Now that's extraordinary!

It is not so weird though, compared to:

2. Victory: The act of overcoming an enemy, winning. (A concept. Not a name.)

5. Prosper: The state of financial success. (A concept. Not a name.) 

7. Perseus: A Greek demigod who killed Medusa. (Technically, yeah, it's a name!)

8. Luck: Good fortune. (A common noun. Not a name.)

11. Lohan: The surname of Lindsay, Michael and Dina. (Technically, yeah, it's a name!)

15. Dior: A trademarked named of a fashion line. Also, the surname of Christian, the designer who created the line. (A company, really. But, technically, yeah, it's a name too! Loophole!)

Though none of those compare to the extraordinary girls names. No. 1 is Zelie. Again, not that bad. 

2. Tea: A beverage. (A common noun. Not a name.)

4. Vogue: A trademarked fashion magazine. Also, the state of being in style, as in "en vogue." (A publication. Not a name.)

5. Summer-Ray: Like sunbeams in the summer season!? Really? (Uh, kind of a name? Maybe?)

7. Tru: The titular character of the 2003—2005 supernatural drama series Tru Calling, about a woman (Eliza Dushku) who works at the morgue and learns she can speak to dead people. (Technically, yeah, it's a name! A made up name from a TV show, but a name!)

9. Pinky: An appendage. One half of the comedy duo Pinky and the Brain. (A body part. Not a name.)

15. Puppy: A puppy. (A common noun. Not a name.)

16. Purdy: The clichéd hillbilly way of saying "pretty." i.e. "You sure are purdy!" (An adjective in a nonsensical dialect. Not a name.)

17. Pepsi: A trademarked soft drink company. (A trademarked soft drink company. Not a name.)

Good luck in life, kids! Especially you, Pepsi!

(H/T Jezebel)

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