McDonald'sSo you have 10 million pounds of chicken wings and you need to get rid of them? Well, though that's quite a pickle, you probably but don't have that problem, but McDonald's sure does.
The fast food franchise purchased 50 million pounds of their limited-time-only Mighty Wings to sell to consumers, but they sold less than expected, so now they have 20 percent of the original inventory leftover. Basically, ole Ronald McDonald is stuck with 10 million pounds of frozen Mighty Wings. And they need to get rid of them. Because we're givers, we're offering up some ideas on what McDonald's can do to take all them damn wings off their hands:
1. Eat Them: How many people does McDonald's employ, from fry cooks to executives? Probably a lot. Well, divide up the wings amongst everyone who represents the golden arches and give them out as Christmas bonuses. Who needs money when you can have fast food wings?
2. Shoot Them Into the Sun: Superman IV-style.
3. Munchies Delivery Service: Can they hold them until April 20? If so, use them for a Mighty Wings delivery service for those patrons who have, um, indulged in some herbal entertainment. Or start it off right away and just do daily food truck runs at 4:20 p.m. And 4.20 a.m. because a lot of people celebrate that time twice.
4. Competitive Eating: They've got 10 million wings, so why not hold a big wing-eating competition? Get that crazy hot-dog eating guy involved.
5. Shoot Them Out of T-Shirt Cannons at Sporting Events: We keep going back to shooting them places, don't we?
6 Make Them Into Toys: If you stick googly eyes on them, McDonald's can put them into Happy Meals and call them Mr. Salmonella! He's loads of fun, just don't lick them!
7. Give Them to BlendTec: Those things claim they can pulverize anything, so giving the wings will answer the age-old question: Will 10 million frozen Mighty Wings indeed blend?
8. Donate to Homeless Shelters: That's probably the best idea, although shooting them out of cannons at sporting events is our No. 2 pick.