And we thought choosing Britney Spears' best songs was hard. Ranking her best music videos was damn near impossible. But somebody had to do it. And that somebody is us.
We took a look back through the catalogue and here are her best music videos, ranked:
13. "Overprotected (The Darkchild Remix)"
The video find Britney rebelling against a faux new reports about her (a trend that continues in "Piece of Me" and "If U Seek Amy"). She ditches her security guards for a girls' night out, where they...dance in the rain in an alleyway? Whatever, the dancing is sick and there's a magic SUV that turns into a dance floor.
12. "(You Drive Me) Crazy"
One of a number of successful collaborations between Britney and Melissa Joan Hart. OK, really we just have this and that episode of Sabrina The Teenage Witch. But that's two for two, soooo. We love Britney's retro waitress getup and we love the video's other cameo, by Melissa's Drive Me Crazy costar, a pre-Entourage Adrian Grenier. Nostalgia!
11. "I Wanna Go"
The styling in this video is a little, well, not our favorite (too much makeup and an Avril Lavigne wardrobe). But it's Britney's funniest video, by far: It's not just an anti-paparazzi video. It's also a tribute to Half Baked and features one of the stars, Guillermo Díaz (Huck from Scandal!). Also, Crossroads 2: Cross Harder on the movie marquee is everything.
10. "My Prerogative"
This video includes a wedding ceremony where Britney marries Kevin Federline. But the video is so damn sexy (Britney writhing around on a bed in white lingerie! Britney writhing around on a wet car! Hell, even K.Fed looks sexy in the video!) that we're willing to forgive her for her other project with her then-husband: Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.
We love the plotline: Britney catches her boyfriend cheating on her at some futuristic, turntable club (it's 2013, the future is now! Why don't we have a turntable club?!), drives off and gets in a wreck and sings in the rain. But really, this video is all about Britney's chaireography. Especially when she turns the chair into a cane. Magic!
8. "Work Bitch"
In a way, the "Work Bitch" video is like a commercial for Britney's Vegas residency, Piece of Me. In which case, it worked. We want to go to there. An abbreviated list of things Britney does in this video: Werks it out in a Vegas penthouse, chills in a shark-infested pool, plays madame at some sexy ass S&M dungeon and blows up a bunch of mannequins.
A lot of Britney's videos have focused on fame and the paparazzi and the tabloids, etcetera and so forth. But this is our favorite. In it, she plays the narrator and an actress named Lucky, who is a biiiiiitch. She yells at people on her giant cell phone. She throws fits. And, yes, she cries herself to sleep at night. It's all very early-2000s. And all very glittery.
6. "Me Against the Music"
"Me Against the Music" really is about Britney and the music. Sure, there's some sort of story with Madonna hanging out in the senior citizens section of the club and then they almost kiss (again), but the reason you're really watching is to see Britney dance. In a black-lit room. In a maze thing. In a fedora.
This video is severely underrated. It followed "Womanizer" (aka "Toxic 2.0"), but couldn't have been more different: Whereas "Womanizer" was all bubblegum pop and bright colors, "Circus" was far moodier. Britney played the ringleader of her very own freak show. There are elephants and lions and fire and whips. We love Britney with a whip.
4. "...Baby One More Time"
Britney's most iconic video. It made the whole world fall in love with her and inspired a million Halloween costumes over the years (raise your hand if you've ever dressed as Britney Spears in her school girl uniform). Bonus points for the Felicia cameo (Britney's assistant at the time and a fan favorite, she plays the teacher).
3. "Oops!...I Did It Again"
"Oops!" may not be Britney's cheesiest video, but it's up there. And that's exactly why we love it. The plot: An astronaut is exploring Mars when he discovers Britney, a Martian wearing a red catsuit, and her extraterrestrial lair. She dances. He falls in love. And then we get the greatest interlude in the history of music video interludes: He gives her...the diamond from Titanic? It's brilliant. And so corny.
Are you surprised to see "Toxic" in the No. 2 spot? "Toxic" has everything you could want from a Britney Spears video: For one, the song (it's our favorite Britney Spears song). She oozes sex appeal in the video. The outfits are amazing (and the best homage to Alias ever). But it's not...
1. "I'm a Slave 4 U"
This is Britney's sexiest video (it turns into a sauna orgy-type deal at one point and some lucky bastard licks Britney's face). The dancing is on point (we spent many an hour learning this exact routine). It's just flawless. There's nothing else to say. Britney tried to recreate the magic in "Till the World Ends," but you can't.
There will only ever be one "I'm a Slave 4 U."
For even more on Britney Spears, including unprecedented inside looks at her most intimate moments and rare candid interviews with the pop superstar herself, tune in to E! News' exclusive two-hour movie event, I Am Britney Jean, airing this Sunday at 9 p.m. on E!