Demi Lovato Talks Past Drug Use: "I Couldn't Go 30 Minutes to an Hour Without Cocaine"

"I had all the help in the world, but I didn't want it," the now sober star says of her addiction

By Alyssa Toomey Dec 11, 2013 12:20 AMTags
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Demi Lovato recently admitted that her fans would be "shocked" to hear her drug and alcohol abuse stories, and now the 21-year-old singer is opening up about her some of her darkest days.

"Something I've never talked about before, but with my drug use I could hide it to where I would sneak drugs. I couldn't go without 30 minutes to an hour without cocaine and I would bring it on airplanes," the "Skyscraper" singer confessed in a candid new interview with Access Hollywood. "I would smuggle it basically and just wait until everyone in first class would go to sleep and I would do it right there. I'd sneak to the bathroom and I'd do it." 

The erstwhile Disney star, who now leads a sober lifestyle, abruptly withdrew from the Jonas Brothers' Live in Concert tour in October 2010 to enter a treatment facility for "physical and emotional issues" at the young age of 18, but she admits she was still reluctant to accept help from others.

"That's how difficult it got and that was even with somebody [with me]," Lovato continued, recalling the severity of her addiction. "I had a sober companion, somebody who was watching me 24/7 and living with me [and] I was able to hide it from them as well."

That is, until she hit rock bottom at the age of 19.

"I was going to the airport and I had a Sprite bottle just filled with vodka and it was just 9 in the morning and I was throwing up in the car and this was just to get on a plane to go back to L.A. to the sober living house that I was staying at…I had all the help in the world, but I didn't want it," she revealed on Monday, Dec. 9, from the set of the X Factor. "When I hit that moment I was like, it's no longer fun when you're doing it alone. I've really never talked about this stuff before…I don't know if I should be sharing this."

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It was then that the blue-haired beauty finally came to terms with her issues and decided to turn her life around.

"I think at 19 years old, I had a moment where I was like, ‘Oh my God…that is alcoholic behavior. [It's] no longer, I'm young and rebellious and out having fun, it was, wow, I'm one of those people…I gotta get my s--t together,'" she explained.

Lovato, who also previously revealed that she's bipolar and has opened up about her past use of cutting as a way to cope, also shared insight into her struggle with an eating disorder, which she says began well before she was a teenager.

"It was always there, but then I just acted on it at around 8 or 9 years old," she revealed. "I started overeating, compulsively overeating. I would bake cookies and then eat the whole pan. I went from doing that to being unhappy with my body. I went to just completely starving myself and that turned into throwing up and starving myself and it was just this crazy battle going on inside of me. It got really difficult [and] I would throw up and it would just be blood and it was something that I realized if I don't stop this, I am going to die."

Demi's mother, Dianna, also participated in the telling interview and admitted that some of her daughter's struggles stemmed from her own issues. She revealed she suffered from a "terrible eating disorder" and "severe depression," but luckily, after seeking help, the mother-daughter duo is now stronger than ever.

"I'm so…proud of her it makes me so happy," Demi said of her mother. "I love her so much."

Lovato most recently released her first book, Staying Stong: 365 Days a Year, which chronicles her "struggles ranging from addiction to depression, all the while on a search for self-discovery and happiness." She is also currently writing a tell-all, which will most likely be released next year.