Let us guess: You said "oh, I have to go to the bathroom, be right back" and now you're reading this on your phone between checking your Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, texts, Snapchat, so on and so forth.
Or maybe you slipped away from that drunken conversation about Obamacare and are hiding in the office. Wherever you are, however you got there, happy Thanksgiving. Now tell us what you're thankful for.
We're feeling so insanely #blessed this year, so we'll start. Here are just some of the bounty of things we're thankful for, presented in an acrostic poem.
Twerking. It's the gift that kept on giving this year.
Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Also, Jennifer Lawrence, for all the delightful things she says and she does.
All the pop stars that released albums this year (Britney, Gaga, Katy, Miley). They're the reason we're still dancing. If we're being completely honest, we would be more thankful if Beyoncé released one too, but maybe that's just greedy.
News stories like Batkid, which restore our faith in humanity.
Kerry Washington, always.
Stuffing. And all the other Thanksgiving foods we'll eat today. But mostly stuffing.
Gay marriage—here's hoping next year is as big a year for marriage equality as this one was.
iPhones and everything they do for us (see above: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, texting, sexting, Candy Crush, etc. Oh and apparently you can make calls with them too??)
coVen. As in, American Horror Story: Coven. We cheated a little to fit this one into our acrostic poem, but we had to include it somewhere. Every week you think there's no way the show could get any more insane, and next thing you know someone is having a threesome with Frankenstein.
Insert obligatory friends, family and health thanks here.
Never having to experience a big moment in pop culture alone, because we have all you amazing readers to share them with. We would be nothing without you all. Thank you.
Grey, Christian. But mostly just Jamie Dornan's face.