Don't get us wrong, we're happy for Jason Lee and his fiancée, who recently welcomed their first child into the world--we're just worried for said kid's welfare on the playground in a couple of years.
The actor, best known for his roles in Vanilla Sky, Almost Famous and Chasing Amy, and his steady, actress Beth Riesgraf, announced the birth this week via pal Kevin Smith's Website, www.viewaskew.com.
"As I write you all this, my beautiful lady is napping soundly with my son. I'm as overjoyed as I am tired. Four nights in the hospital and worth every delirious minute," Lee writes. "I could go on forever but I'd rather pass out. So, please help us welcome Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee."
Yes, the child is named Pilot Inspektor. Other than the kid's birthdate, September 28, no further details were released.
But getting back to that moniker...
According to the actor's publicist, the happy couple had been searching for a unique name, when they stumbled on this one, with a little help from some friends.
"They just liked the name Pilot, and I believe Inspektor came from a friend, Danny Masterson's younger brother," the actor's rep tells E! Online. (Masterson is the wiry-haired star of Fox's That '70s Show and a good friend of Lee's.)
Young Pilot immediately joins the pantheon of offbeat celebrity spawn names. John Travolta's son is named Jett and David Bowie named his first kid Zowie. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore named their three children Rumer, Scout and Tallulah, while Frank Zappa went typically unmainstream with his offspring: Dweezil, Moon Unit, Diva and Ahmet. Robin Williams named his daughter Zelda, after the classic Nintendo video game.
A former pro skateboarder, Lee, 33, broke into show business in a series of Spike Jonze-directed music videos. He owed his early success to Smith, who put Lee in the comedies Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, as well as the upcoming Jersey Girl with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.
Lee's also a favorite of Cameron Crowe, who cast the actor opposite Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky and as the lead singer of fictional rock band Stillwater in Almost Famous.
His other credits include Kissing a Fool, Enemy of the State, Mumford, Big Trouble and, most recently, Dreamcatcher.
Up next are a couple of indie projects. Lee costars with Riesgraf in Adam Goldberg's I Love Your Work, which premiered at the Toronto Film Festival, and he has also wrapped Rebecca Miller's Rose and the Snake.
No word on when Lee and Riesgraf plan to wed.