And if ya do, I promise, I just might come exquisitely close to telling you which veddy famous movie star (who does biz over at Paramount) breathed the following verbal evil quote recently. First, to bring you up to speed:
I mean, it’s such the old story. Per usual, Hollywood’s a hideous tank o’ over-surgeried sharks, right? Oui, oui! Indeed, so ready for (further) bloodied waters over at the venerable studio on Melrose are they, that Mr. Mystery megastar joked, within audible earshot of several T-town types at a Biz function, that nervous honcho Grey was “just about the right height to kiss Sumner Redstone’s ass.”What a honkin’ hairy quote, huh? Pretty dirty of me not to tell you who said it, eh? Or did I?
I ran into Avril Lavigne—there presentin’ the Fashion Visionary award to Diesel’s Renzo Rosso—before the awards show. The sometimes-spitting gal looked rather ladylike—who knew? A.L. was lovely with her blond curls and skinny black jeans. I asked if she’d had any fashion faux pas over the years. “I don’t really regret anything,” mused the former skater-gal turned girly-girl.“You know, the ties and the wifebeaters and all...It had its time and place. And now I’m all grown up, and I’ve moved on,” Av-hon ‘splained, all stoic ‘n’ K-Fed reductive.
“I hadn’t been in L.A. very long, and he just described it as being very casual,” J.D. continued. “So, I showed up in jeans and T-shirt…and it was totally Hollywood-party chic. I was the only one there in jeans, and I felt like a real fish outta water, because they were all celebrities and I was, like, D-list. I looked like the biggest bumpkin, although he assured me it was fine.”Oh, doll, I’m sure Johnny T. didn’t mind one iota! He’s such the gracious host, n'est-ce pas? Bet he even kissed ya goodnight!
Decidedly less smoochy-poo to my totally bitchin’ associate, Cristina Gibson, was Teri Hatcher. C.G. asked Ter-babe, gorgeous in Valentino, if she could get a quick gab on.
“Who are you with?” she asked.
“E! Online,” Cristina replied.
“No,” she replied, quicker than it takes Eva Longoria to get her hired help into the sack on Desperate Housewives. “Sorry. You’re a beautiful girl, but…” she apologized, before dashing off.Um, what the eff does that mean, exactly? Would it have helped or hurt poor Cristina’s chances of chatting if she was fugly instead? Such the cryptic answer, Ms. H. Readers, send Cristina Care Bears right now (or Teri Hatcher dolls with needles in them—take your pick).