These days, you're lucky to get a Tampon McMuffin or a "burrito" made from toilet water and a ramen packet in prison (a statement we make after watching lots of movies and TV about prison).
One (hilariously haughty) three-star Yelp review for San Quentin proves that it's not five-star dining: "The potatoes had lumps in them and the edges got cold pretty fast, so I felt I had to rush through eating them or they wouldn't stay warm for very long. It didn't OCCUR to them that maybe I wanted to take my time? Why don't they serve them just a LITTLE hotter, then there would be no problem. As for the lumps I guess they were pieces of potato, but still, lumps are weird no matter what."
But this doesn't always seem to have been the case. Inside Scoop SF has resurfaced a menu from Alcatraz, showing what would be served up in the cafeteria from Sept. 2 to 8, 1946.
Baked croquettes?! Watermelon? Do you even know what purée mongole is?! We didn't! But it sounds fancy as hell (it's a creamed split pea-tomato soup, for the record).
Look at these menu options:
Monday (Lunch)
-Split Pea Soup
-Roast Shoulder of Pork
-Sage Dressing
-Brown Gravy
-Mashed Potatoes
-Stewed Corn
-Apple Pie
-Bread & Coffee w/ Milk
Tuesday (Dinner)
-Puree Mongole
-Chili Con Carne
-Steamed Rice
-Lettuce Salad
-Layer Cake
-Bread & Coffee
Wednesday (Lunch)
-Mexican Soup
-Beef Pot Pie Anglaise
-Tomato Catsup
-Buttered Beets
-Cole Slaw
-Bread & Tea
Thursday (Breakfast)
-Stewed Peaches
-Hot Griddle Cakes
-Honey
-Oleo
-Bread
-Coffee w/ Milk
Friday (Dinner)
-Potato Chowder
-Two Fried Eggs
-Fried Potatoes
-Zucchini SAute
-Iced Cup Cakes
-Bread & Coffee w/ Milk
Saturday (Dinner)
-Minestrone Soup
-Bacon Jambalaya
-Tomato Saute
-Cucumber & Onion Salad
-Orange Jello
-Bread & Coffee
Sunday (Lunch)
-Rice Tomato Soup
-Pounded Beef Steak
-Pan Gravy
-Mashed Potatoes
-Corn on the Cob
-Bread & Coffee
Pancakes! Steak! Breakfast for dinner on Fridays!
Sign us up!
If you want to take part in the Alcatraz eating experience—because you're a history buff or because it's a lot nicer than what you usually eat—the Embarcadero Center Hyatt in San Francisco is celebrating the "Alcatraz: The Last Day" photo exhibit with a special themed dinner.
The three-course meal, ringing in at $28 (the inmates got it for free) includes such items as clam chowder, meatloaf and salad and runs Aug. 8 through Sept. 2.