Liza is fabulous. Her husband is, um, not.
That's the spin, as VH1 confirmed Wednesday it has canceled its reality show starring Liza Minnelli and new hubby David Gest before the series even made it air.
Liza and David was to be the MTV sister network's first foray into Osbournes-Anna Nicole video land. The twice-delayed show was to debut in January.
Gest, the music producer and friend of Michael Jackson, became the fourth Mr. Liza in March and is taking the heat for the aborted project.
"We weren't given the kind of access and cooperation we needed to make the show work," a network spokeswoman told the Associated Press.
To the New York Post, a production source put it more plain: "David Gest redefines the term 'control freak.' He was almost insane."
Liza's publicist said the couple had no comment.
Just one episode of the never-was series was completed. Chances are the installment will never make it out of the VH1 vaults. (Although we have faith it will one day be had for the clicking somewhere in cyberspace...)
For now, the only proof that Liza and David existed, even briefly, is the see-it-while-you-can Liza and David page on VH1's Website.
Plans for the show were announced at a July news conference in New York City.
Per VH1, Liza and David was to offer "a personal, private look at celebrities in a new and exciting way." (Plus, we're guessing the network figured some of the couple's 1,500 famous and otherwise wedding friends would stop by for guest shots.)
But even early on, the titular couple said the "personal, private look" was going to be on their terms.
"We love the Osbournes. I think they're fantastic...It's not The Osbournes," Gest said of his and Liza's show.
Joked Minnelli at the press conference: "I won't let anybody into the bedroom or the bathroom."
While it's unlikely VH1 insisted on a potty cam, an insider said the network did expect it could film the couple, you know, somewhere.
"[Gest] canceled us about 20 times," the production source told the Post. "He had a bodyguard stand outside to keep the crew out."
The mole also accused Gest of being a "neat freak" who made VH1 staffers wear hospital booties while traipsing on his and Liza's carpet, and requested that one crew member stick her head in an oven to check for dirt.
According to E! Online gossip columnist Ted Casablanca, Gest had demanded VH1 pay for the couple's drapery cleanings, new china and various home-maintenance charges.
To hear the insider tell it, production would have been much tidier if the show had just been called Liza.
"She'd want to come out to shoot, and [Gest] wouldn't let her," the source said in the newspaper.
VH1's spokeswoman confirmed Liza's fabulousness. "We're disappointed that our viewers aren't going to be able to see the Liza we saw," the rep told AP.
As for Gest, well... According to the Post, the network fired off a letter to his lawyers Tuesday telling him the deal for the show was off. Breach of contract was cited.
Among the footage we'll never see: An October cocktail party at Liza and David's, featuring guests Sandra Bernhard and gossip Liz Smith, and performances by Ray Charles and Luther Vandross.
Minus their TV show, Minnelli and Gest presumably will focus on their planned adoption of a three-year-old girl, described by Liza as a Christian.
The child was not expected to appear on the VH1 series, with the couple saying they preferred to keep her part of their "private world."
Along with everything else, apparently.