Loch Ness Monster

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Science: Used to find a cure for cancer, explore the vastness of our universe, and finally, once and for all, determine if that damn Scottish lake monster is real or not.

The debate over whether the Loch Ness monster exists has resurfaced online, with the reports of Italian scientist Luigi Piccardi being called into question more than a decade after he originally made them. During the 2001 Earth Systems Processes meeting in Edinburgh, Piccardi claimed there was a simple explanation for Nessie sightings: Geology.

Also, in related news: Big Foot is just a tree, Godzilla is only an alligator gar (like a real-life alligator-shark hybrid that is actually a monster) and the Abominable Snowman is some dude wearing a parka who got lost in a snowstorm and is really cold, so you probably should have asked him if he needed a ride.

In legend, Nessie is often described as dinosaur-like, with appearances often accompanied by tremors and bubbles. But Piccardi argued that those are side effects of the Great Glen fault system.

"There are various effects on the surface of the water that can be related to the activity of the fault," Piccardi reports. The Loch Ness Lake itself was created by seismic activity on this same fault.

Scientific American points out, though, that earthquakes throughout Scotland's history do not line up with periods of increased Loch Ness sightings and that even the strongest earthquakes recorded might not create the visual effect that Piccardi describes.

And yet, as NBC News points out, even if Piccardi was wrong with his scientific approach to explaining the Loch Ness monster, others have proven just as fruitless: Sonar beams and satellite imagining have been used to scour the lake, as well as miniature submarines and dolphins with cameras on their heads (let us repeat: Dolphins. With cameras. Attached to their heads. That's awesome).

So what happens if the Loch Ness monster is real? What happens if we find it? Probably kill it, right?

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