Monica Lewinsky, Auction

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How much are you willing to pay for a piece of history? How much are you willing to pay for a piece of history that might be stained with former President Bill Clinton's semen? These are the type of questions you should be asking yourself every day. 

And these questions are most relevant right now: Nate D. Sanders Fine Autographs & Memorabilia is auctioning off personal items that once belonged to Monica Lewinsky, with the bidding set to end June 27.

The lot, titled "Extraordinary Lot of Items From Monica Lewinsky—Used by Kenneth Starr in His Case for Impeachment Against Bill Clinton" includes 32 "extraordinary" items, such as: 

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Monica Lewinsky, Auction

One piece of black negligee (size 1X-2X, maybe or maybe not—though probably may not—worn in the Oval Office during a "meeting" with Bill "I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman" Clinton).

One birthday letter to another of Lewinsky's former lovers, Andy Bleiler, written and signed by Bill Clinton on White House stationary.

One letter from Monica (also occasionally known in the valediction of her letters as "Monstreeka") that contains the ironic, wink-wink phrase, "am I good at lying through my teeth or what..." (It's in regard to jokingly ribbing Bleiler, not anything relating to her affair with the president).

At the time of publishing, there have been two bids.

Here's what it'll cost you to own these items: $2,750.

Here's what we'd pay to own these items: Nothing.

Except possibly like $15 for that black jacket with the embroidery. It's cute! $20 maximum, if you're going to haggle with us. But here's why: These items used to belong to Lewinsky, but don't really have any historical (or more importantly, scandalous) significance.

The black nightie is not the blue dress. The letter from Clinton is not a letter to Monica. None of the personal letters from Monica spill White House secrets. Now if we were bidding on the blue dress or the Linda Tripp tapes or that cigar that was used for something a cigar should never be used for, well, we've got some money to throw at that. 

Hell, we'll even bid on some of the knitting that Monica did to distract herself during Clinton's impeachment trial. You can never go wrong with a lovely knit scarf. 

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