It's beginning to look as if this season of The Bachelorette might actually succeed in out-irritating all the others. But before we blame the obligatory harness-required sports, or the contestants, who are just as exciting as graphing porabolas while eating unflavored rice cakes, let's ask ourselves: Are we annoyed for the right reasons?? We're only on Episode Three, and already the excessive product placement is well underway.

lone ranger

Last night, a Stephen Baldwin-esque stuntman arrived, and taught the suitors how to fight greed and corruption—all in the honorable name of promoting Disney's new movie The Lone Ranger.  And we regret to inform you that the shameless advertising doesn't end there. We have an exclusive look at the ruthless product placement to come.

Since they can't get Creed, the show opts, instead, for Slipknot. Des and Chris slowdance to "Butcher's Hook" until the sun comes up.


The rose ceremony served as the perfect vehicle to work-in Swiffer's new WetJet. And don't worry, they justify it with a few simple lines about how "love is messy," "relationships require effort," and "someone ejaculated on the floor."


Sure, millions are against Monsanto. But not many people liked Justin "Rated R" Rego from Season 6, either. Desiree and her hunk really bond on this date, as they discuss the possibility of genetically modified children.


Thankfully, the tumors don't show up until after they're engaged--and then married, divorced, remarried, and then a contestant on Bachelor Pad.

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