Good news, fans of Barry Manilow-lookalikes…Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil is back! Oh wait, she was never gone, and seems to have the staying power of a severed octopus tentacle. For those who thought she'd been washed up by a wave pool riddled with urine and bomb pop stick bacteria, she's just been busy working on her very first music video, "It's Tan Mom"—perfect for those who want to burn their corneas due to extreme usage of the Brightness/Contrast function.

Seriously, though, Patricia needs work. Krentcil's Pretzels? No...nothing near heat or an oven. Well, at least for now, she can always fall back on gay porn.

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