Simon Cowell, Red Nose Day

Who would ever have thought that Simon Cowell would give back by getting hitched?

In honor of Red Nose Day, an annual tradition in the UK launched by Comic Relief to help communities in need at home and in Africa, the famous bachelor donned a suit (but no tie, of course) and headed for the altar with a conveniently mysterious bride.

But, just as Cowell was about to say his self-congratulatory I-dos, along came British comedian David Walliams to object. And what was his reason as to why the X Factor judge shouldn't swap vows?

"My Simon, I love you!" pleaded Walliams, in full-on wedding drag. "It should be me and you getting married today! I love everything about you!"

Well, that ought to have convinced Simon right there, don't you think?

"I love that your hair looks like a badger!" the comic continued. "That your trousers come up to your armpits. I love that you wear pullovers too tight so that they show off your nipples! Let's run away somewhere!"

Go ahead and watch the video to see if Simon takes David up on his romantic offer!

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