Byron Cohen/FXSpoiler Alert! The following article contains spoilers on a lot of Wednesday night's shows, so click away if you've yet to watch and don't want to know what went down! Seriously, if you complain about spoilers in the comments you are the peanut butter stuck on the roof of the TV world's mouth.
Welcome back to the TV Watercooler, our daily column in which we run down the night's biggest moments. On tonight's roster? American Horror Story: Aslyum, American Idol's much-hyped Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey feud and Supernatural epicness.
The madness has finally ended. American Horror Story: Asylum closed its doors tonight, bringing a season full of some of the craziest s--t ever to be shown on TV to an end. (Can't say we'll miss that nipple lamp!) So grab a drink and a seat and come chat with us about TV's biggest moments on Wednesday night...
American Horror Story Finale Satisfies: Lana (Sarah Paulson) got her happy ending…or was it just an ending? Her long-lost son Johnny (Dylan McDermott) finally got the one-on-one meeting he's wanted all season long, and her Bloody Face saga came full circle when Lana shot him in the head before he could shoot her. Just like his dad! Awww, that's some messed-up poetic justice. But one of our favorite parts about the finale was the unlikely friendship that Kit (Evan Peters) found with Jude (Jessica Lange) after rescuing her from Briarcliff. Looks like our three heroes truly got out of the asylum, both physically and mentally. What did you guys think of the method of storytelling, using Lana's present day interview as a jumping off point for flashbacks?
Looking forward to season tree of FX's crazy-train, Peters and Paulson will definitely be returning, as will Lange. Entertainment Weekly reports Taissa Farmiga, she who played sullen teen Violet in season one, is in talks to return as well. Ryan Murphy recently revealed that season three will take place in multiple modern-day cities, with some flashes to the past. A major theme? "Female power." Do ya thang, Murphy!
Diva-Downplayed: So that big feud Idol was touting? Turns out Nicki was mad at all of her fellow judges, not just Mariah Dahhh-ling. After Randy Jackson joked about his years of experience when he and Nicki disagreed about a contestant, Nicki said, "Maybe I should just get off the f--king panel," before dropping her Coke cup and walking away. (OK, not really). So really, she was most mad at the "dawg." (We kind of wish their feud had erupted over yet another pop quiz on Mean Girls. "What does Cady wear to the Halloween party, Nicki?!" Mariah would ask, as Nicki desperately tried to remember, saying, "Um, not the mouse!" before Mariah smirked, the true victor of the American Idol Judge Who Knows the Most About Mean Girls Competition at last. Yes, we know we need a hobby.)
All Other GIFs Can Go Home Now: Dean (Jensen Ackles) in a wig. Sam (Jared Padalecki) with a ponytail. Supernatural is just the gift that keeps on giving. The Winchesters got in all the LARPing (Live Action Role-Playing, for you total dorks out there that don't know what that means), which meant pure Internet gold.
Bummer City, Population Us: On the heels of ABC pulling Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 from its schedule, Fox has pulled the charming Ben and Kate, leading us to drop to our knees and curse the TV gods. But what's done is done, now we look toward this weekend, when we will Wikipedia the crap out of ritual sacrifices (LOL books!) to find a way to save Happy Endings and The Mindy Project from the TV grim reaper's wrath. Maybe the team over at Rules of Engagement can share one they've performed?
Top Chef Mess: After last week's surprising elimination, which saw front-runner Kristen pack her knives, it was the never-not-annoying Josie finally got the boot in tonight's episode. Too bad it was about three weeks too late, judges! Her cooking was lackluster and her personality (and abuse of the word "rocking") will go down as one of the Bravo hit's worst. Oh, and we're happy to spoil that Kristen beats Josie in Last Chance Kitchen. "It feels so good winning against Josie," she says. Oh yes it does, our warrior chef-queen.