For all those who asked (and the millions more who didn't) comes the strange-but-true answer: The world-famous famous guy suffered minor facial cuts Tuesday after being clocked in the nose by a bird during a roller-coaster ride in Virginia.
Really.
The odds of the above circumstances (Fabio in Virginia; Fabio riding a roller-coaster; Fabio colliding with a bird) converging for one--single--police-blotter item seem incalculable. But the long shot came in.
Here's what happened: On Tuesday, the beyond-strapping spokesmodel, best known to TV audiences as the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter guy, was booked to appear at the Busch Gardens theme park in Williamsburg, Virginia.
The venue was hyping its new roller-coaster, Apollo's Chariot. The park people apparently thought it would be cute if Fabio tried out their new toy for a "Modern-Day Adonis vs. Ancient-Day Sun God" promotion. (Um, Fabio was supposed to be the modern-day Adonis.)
So, anyway, Fabio--tearing himself away from his butter-alternative advocacy work--agreed. He showed up at the park. Got strapped into the ride, seated amid several adoring female fans. Then, the roller-coaster rolled.
Early in the ride, a bird--by some accounts, a goose--flew into Fabio's big-target face. The spokesmodel was bloodied--as were his adoring female fans. He got cut. They got splattered.
Fabio, 38, was taken to a hospital, where he was treated for a one-inch cut to the bridge of his nose.
"He's fine, no serious injuries," park spokeswoman Deborah DeMarco assured the Washington Post.
No word on the bird's motives--or funeral plans. (Its broken body was later retrieved by park officials.)
"We're very sorry that it happened," DeMarco said. "It was an act of nature."
And that is what is up with Fabio.