Why Kate Middleton's Royal Baby Will Totally Have a Nanny—Even If It Doesn't

The future heir to the throne will have plenty of nannylike people

Is it true that Kate and William are going to raise their child without a full-time nanny? I'm impressed.
—Good W., via Twitter

You speak of a Daily Mail report indicating that the royal fetus will be hand-raised, presumably in a cage-free and organic environment, and, supposedly, without the aid of a full-time nanny.

Palace spokespeople have yet to officially say whether the report is true. But either way, I wish the royals good luck with that.

Look, it's nearly impossible to be a bona fide celebrity parent—any kind of celebrity parent—without having someone else around to help with chores, either child-related or otherwise. It's just not physically possible. That's why American celebrities employ an average of two to three nannies per child, though some couples have been known to go with just one or as many as four.

Granted, the royal couple may actually have a tamer schedule in comparison to the less predicable life of a movie star. He has his military deployments, and he and his wife are on the road a couple of times a year doing official tours. So, the twosome may be able to get away with forgoing a full-time nanny and instead, as the Mail suggests, go with a part-time helpmeet and family babysitters.

But then again, let's remember: The royals  already have a staff—a big one—which will free them from drudgery that average parents have to slog through on their own: laundry, errands, bill paying, shopping, cleaning.

Even if the Mountbatten-Windsors forgo a full-time nanny, they'll still have a ton of full-time help being parents. When you factor that in, praising the royals for forgoing a nanny really doesn't reflect the full picture.

"You could agree that true parenting is much needed in this world," Drei Donnelly of the Association of Celebrity Personal Assistants tells me, "but let's face it, I'm sure they have a very large staff that will allow them to attend to their child, as do those like Angelina and Brad who are doing a remarkable job with family life."

"It takes a village to raise a child, so if no one person is assigned to be ‘nanny' or ‘governess' then everyone will take part somehow."

Still impressed?