Sounds like a scenario from the board game, Clue. But what it really is, is a clue to the last episode of Seinfeld.
Or so it would seem.
Here's what we know: Yesterday, three producers from TV's top-rated sitcom popped up on the Fox News Channel toting what they claimed to be the original copy of the mythic, Last Episode Ever.
Flipping through the pages, executive producers Andy Robin, Greg Kavet and supervising producer Spike Fiersten divulged the following:
The final scenes take place in a chapel--and Jerry and ex-girlfriend Elaine are there. Jerry nemesis Newman winds up unconscious in a hospital. The final whine (uttered by George): "So what am I going to do now?" No mention of Kramer's whereabouts, or whether Jerry and Elaine take advantage of their locale and tie the knot.
Fox News Channel's Patrick VanHorn pressed for more details--but no doing. "This is the biggest secret since the Manhattan project," he said today.
An estimated 79 million people will watch the May 14 finale.
The last episode is scheduled to be taped April 8. The plan is to shuffle the studio audience out of the building before the final scenes are performed--the better to keep everything hush-hush.
On air yesterday, producers reiterated that a previous, widely reported Last Episode Ever scenario--the one with the gang moving to Califonia--was bogus.
But were the guys sincere about their own leaks? Or were they just gagging on us?
Well, Jerry Seinfeld's spokesman tells today's New York Daily News: "It's not real. They were joking."