Chris Fraticelli/TLCHave you ever wondered what a "forklift foot" looks like? If you have, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is your kind of show.
On the latest episode of the TLC breakout hit, Mama June and three of her girls decided it was time to get a little wet and wild in "A Bunch of Wedgies," while eldest daughter Anna dealt with contractions. But it wasn't all fun and pregnancy pains—Alana also found time to compete in a pageant!
Baby on the Way: Anna (aka Chickadee) was rushed to the hospital at the end of last week's episode after baby Kaitlyn was, in Anna's medical terms, hurting her "biscuit." After spending a loopy night in the hospital (check the one-liners section for some of the hilarity that came from the visit), Anna is sent home and ordered onto bedrest.
Alas, bedrest is no easy task when Alana is around. She decides to annoy Anna by asking her questions and talking about her own stomach issues. "When my belly hurts, it's usually gas or too many chicken nuggets," she explains. #sixyearoldproblems
Alana also expresses her interest in one day having children of her own. How many does she want? "I want to have thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands." (BRB, weeping over the future of America.)
Fork in the Water: Aside from Kaitlyn knocking on Anna's door, June, Lauryn (aka Pumpkin) and Jessica's (aka Chubbs) final weigh-ins went down and their results were slightly underwhelming. Pumpkin gained eight pounds, Jessica lost three pounds and June lost just one pound.
Though they barely lost weight, June decided to reward them for doing such a bad "good" job by taking them to the water park, Splash in the Boro. It's the kids' first time at a water park and they spend the day going down the lazy river and water slides. Disaster almost strikes when June can't get out of her tube. Here's a riddle for you: How many rednecks does it take to extract June from the tube? Three, including June.
Still, despite the slides, the highlight of the girls' day was June showing off her much-discussed-but-never-before-seen "forklift foot." We would describe what it looks like, but we couldn't bring ourselves to look. Sorry, folks. We aren't paid enough for that kind of self-inflicted torture.
Working Out the Kinks: The highly-anticipated Rock Star pageant is a few days away, and June and Alana are doing another pageant to prepare. It's her first pageant with a new coach and a new dress and there are some hiccups: Her skirt falls right before the pageant and she's having trouble remembering the steps to her new Elvis routine.
To June and the family's delight, Alana does well in both rounds and wins Queen in her age division. Sadly, she doesn't win Rock Star Grand Supreme. (Maybe Glitzy the pet pig would have given her the edge after all?)
ONE-LINERS
"Sleepy, in pain and I've got a headache. And I want to go to sleep. Deuces." —Anna in the hospital
"Ow, it's going through my vajayjay." —Anna on her contractions
"This life jacket makes me look like a chunky lemon." —Alana at the waterpark
"If I had a toe like that, I'd chop it off." —Pumpkin on June's forklift foot
"Spray tan is like poop in a can." —Alana while getting spray-tanned
"Make sure you show your pretty tanned belly to the judges." —June coaching Alana
"If you're a champion, you're still a winner." —Alana
"I'm making up a song in my head and I'm dancing to it." —Alana during a family interview. Her father Sugar Bear is not impressed.