What does Robert Pattinson have to do to get a one-night stand around here?!

The British actor's hands are full and his promises are empty in Bel Ami, this year's big-screen adaptation of the 1885 Guy de Maupassant novel, out today on DVD and Blu-ray.

And it's not hard to believe, judging by this clip exclusively obtained by E! News, the book's full title when it was published in English in 1903: Bel Ami, or, The History of a Scoundrel: A Novel.

First, watch Pattinson's greedy libertine make eyes at Kristin Scott Thomas, Christina Ricci and Uma Thurman.

Then, he beds Scott Thomas, who at 52 to his 26 is literally twice his age, and gets rid of her in the nick of time before Ricci shows up.

What a cad!

At least Pattinson's real-life persona doesn't seem to reflect his art—not this film's art, anyway—one bit.

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