Twitter, Startracksphoto; Getty; ZUMAPress.comTom Cruise and Katie Holmes, consider yourself replaced in the zeitgeist for the time being.
The devastating proof that, unlike Bella and Edward, the couple known as Robsten may not be long for this world dominated the celebcentric scene by a shockingly wide margin.
And we've got everything you need to know about that scandal here—along with a rundown of all the entertainment news that registered during the last seven days.
STAKED THROUGH THE HEART: It's probably a good thing he wasn't planning to marry her just yet anyway. Less than 24 hours after being outed as a cheater, Kristen Stewart admitted to stepping out on Robert Pattinson with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, who's married with two children. When did this happen? Where's Rob now? Did anyone see this coming?! (Besides the paparazzo who's probably enjoying his paycheck in the Bahamas right about now, that is?) We've tackled all of those questions and more right here.
JACKSON FEUD: Three years after Michael Jackson's death, his sprawling family is at it again, this time over control of his estate—and custody of his kids! Webs don't get much more tangled, but we've done our best to sort it out for you.
DARKEST NIGHT: Here's the latest on the aftermath of the Dark Knight Rises shooting, from suspect James Holmes' first court appearance to Christian Bale visiting victims in the hospital to Warner Bros. ultimately deciding to delay Gangster Squad's release until January so that they can take out a violent scene in a movie theater.
CRUISE CONTROL: Don't worry, Tom and Katie, we didn't forget about you! Katie and Suri spent time visiting family in Ohio, Tom jetted off to London to start shooting his next movie, Katie is skipping this Saturday's Dizzy Feet Foundation gala and we plumbed an interview she gave the week she filed for divorce for hints. That should be enough for one week.
FOR THE ROMANCE RECORD: Here's the low-down on Prince Harry's new paramour, Cressida Bones...Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis looked cozy at the Jobs wrap party...Demi Moore is not dating The Ring star Martin Henderson...Michelle Williams and Jason Segel aren't engaged.
LONDON CALLING: The Opening Ceremony of the London 2012 Olympic Games was full of stunning spectacle, jaw-dropping moments and a very mixed bag of fashion.
WISHFUL THINKING: Matt Bomer on the cover of EW talking about starring in 50 Shades of Grey? Not real.
LOST & FOUND: Mabel Pantaleon, an aspiring actress who landed roles on Dexter and Mystery ER, was found safe after going missing for four days. Her mom called the cops, especially concerned because she believed her daughter, who suffers from depression, was off her meds.
ENGAGED: Cybill Shepherd will tie the knot with jeweler-turned-psychologist Andrei Nikolajevic.
BABY BOOM: From the looks of that bump, Vanessa and Nick Lachey should be welcoming their little one any minute...Holly Madison says she's started the adoption process...Rascal Flatts' Jay DeMarcus and wife Allison welcomed their second child, son Dylan Jay.
UNHITCHING: Game of Thrones' Lena Headey is divorcing husband Peter Loughran...Ethan Embry's wife, Sunny Mabrey, filed for divorce.
FAREWELLS: Sherman Hemsley, star of The Jeffersons, died at 74...Chad Everett, star of Medical Center, died of lung cancer at 76...Usher's former stepson Kile Glover was laid to rest in Atlanta; he died at age 11.
TV LAND: Eric Dane is leaving Grey's Anatomy (that was the sound of our engine losing McSteam)...Mariah Carey is the newest American Idol judge...Robin Roberts will take a leave of absence from GMA next month to undergo a bone marrow transplant...Jenna Dewan joins American Horror Story...There seems to be a truce in place now, but the cast of Modern Family sued 20th Century Fox over their allegedly lousy contracts...Production on Fringe's final season delayed while John Noble is treated for a sleep disorder...This may be Sharon Osbourne's last season on America's Got Talent...Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert sign contract extensions.
RECAPVILLE: Catch up on last week's episodes of America's Got Talent, Bachelor Pad, Breaking Bad, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, True Blood, The Bachelorette finale and Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
MUSIC NOTES: Carly Rae Jepsen has surpassed Lady Gaga's Billboard 100 record to her own detriment...Blink-182 canceled a London show after Mark Hoppus came down with multiple ailments.
SCREEN PLAY: The Cloud Atlas trailer has got it going on. And by "it," we mean "everything"...Ang Lee's Life of Pi looks as intense as you would imagine a boy being shipwrecked with a tiger being...2012 Toronto Film Festival lineup announced...Jenna Malone joins Catching Fire as Johanna Mason...Kevin Costner and Russell Crowe tag-team on a pair of Man of Steel teasers.
LAW & DISORDER: Russell Brand gets community service for tossing his iPhone through a window in New Orleans...A photographer pleaded guilty to trying to extort a member of 19 Kids and Counting's Duggar family...Paparazzo charged with reckless driving for allegedly speeding after Justin Bieber...Jenna Jamison pleaded not guilty to DUI...Lady Gaga and Universal Music Group sued by the maker of Bratz (the dolls, not sausage)...Carly Rae Jepsen hacked (not by Lady Gaga)...Kevin Costner sues Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves studio...William Balfour sentenced to life in prison for the murders of Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother and nephew...3 Doors Down bassist Todd Harrell busted for DUI.
FUN IN THE SUN: Melanie Griffith plays shutterbug on vacation with her kids in Hawaii...Alexa Vega's bikini top is working overtime...Gisele Bündchen just may be pregnant on this Costa Rican beach...Julia Roberts sparkles in turquoise in Hawaii...