Robin Marchant/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
So I have read all the Fifty Shades books twice, and enough about the Christian and Ana castings! Who is your pick for Kate and Elliot? I'm thinking Blake Lively and Kellan Lutz, what do you think? Laters! xoxo
—Sydney
Dear Sexy Support:
On paper, Blake would be perfect to play Ana's blond bombshell bestie, Kate Kavanagh. But there's no way Ms. Lively would ever sign on for the S&M-filled saga. The soon-to-be former Gossip Girl is trying to establish herself as a serious actress, after all, and I have a feeling Fifty Shades—where she'd rely more on her eye candy abilities than acting chops—does not fall in that category. As for Kellan, it's basically his Twilight role revisited. So why not?
Dear Ted:
Is Kiefer Sutherland our skank-tastic Nelly Fang? Since I am at work I can't troll through the Blind Vice archives. If not, does he star in his own Blind Vice or is he a supporting player?
—Julie from Texas
Dear Lost Boys Gone Batty:
Hardly! Nelly is so much hotter than Kiefer—at least these days. Actually, looks aren't the only thing that would have the 24 star envious of Mr. Fang; Nell's boob-tube projects are actually successful (unlike that Touch show, unfortunately).
Dear Ted:
What do you think about Miley Cyrus' engagement? What about Niley? I have hope! xD
—Melli
Dear Engaged and (Nearly) Underage:
Geez, babe, you're really holding on to the past with hope that Miles will romantically return to Nick Jonas. Let me lay it out for you: Never gonna happen! So hop aboard the Liam Hemsworth express, because next stop is the altar. And I'm rooting for these two.
Dear Ted:
Ian Somerhalder is no Christian Grey! I don't get why so many people are saying he would be perfect for the part. Or why Ian even thinks he has a chance! Clearly he's never read the books because he does not fit Christian's description at all. So why is everyone championing him?!
—CB
Dear Black and White:
Hmm, have to disagree, babe. Ian totally has that sorta smarmy but totally sexual thing going on. But as for why he's the top dog in the Fifty Shades casting, well, it's because he wants to do it. And there aren't tons of actors who do.
Dear Ted:
After everything that's gone down on the Liz & Dick set—what with the car crash and last week's episode of "exhaustion"—do you think Hollywood types will (finally!) not want to work with Lindsay Lohan anymore? Or will this really be the big comeback she needs?
—Barbara
Dear Parent Trapped:
That's actually a good question, B. All of Tinseltown has its eyes on LiLo right now, and it will affect the roles she's offered in the future. That said, I think someone is always going to be willing to cast her. She brings huge buzz to a project, after all—even if it is through all the brouhaha that surrounds her private life.
Dear Ted:
Breezy is really cheesy and sleazy. Women should run as fast their stilettos will carry them. But Rihanna is doing just fine with her own shenanigans. Do you think they're just doing it for attention or they're really just being "real?"
—GGR
Dear Hmm:
Little of A, little of B?
Dear Ted:
You and all the Kristen Stewart fans would have orgasms if cardboard cutouts of K.Stew were used in her movie roles. I'm not saying she can't act, but she hasn't shown much in the way of thespian prowess so far. Compare her "acting" in Snow White and the Huntsman to Noomi Rapace in Prometheus and you might get a clue about real acting. As for her red carpet "looks," she has all the grace and charisma of the aforementioned cardboard cutout. She gets paid $34 million per film and still manages to look miserable all the time? Can't wait to see her big breakout role in On the Road—going topless will pass for acting in that flick I guess. LOL!
—Roc
Dear Sticks and Stones:
Is there an opposite of a Krisbian? To answer your question—if there was one buried in your scathing review of K.Stew—her role in OTR is hardly a peep show (and she got good reviews for it, who would have thunk it!). As for the red carpet, ha! Just look at her Sydney style. She looked like perfection and is putting away millions while she does it. I think K.Stew will be fine without your approval.