True Blood, Season 5

John P. Johnson/HBO

It really is summer now. Hot days, barbeques and True Blood are what we live for. Last week saw the capture of Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) and Bill (Stephen Moyer) by the mysterious Authority. Plus, Sookie's (Anna Paquin) BFF Tara (Rutina Wesley) turned into a vampire. And fun was had by all.  

Want to know what crazy things went down on the latest episode of True Blood? Find out now: 

Humanity Lost:
Tara is actually the worst houseguest ever. She's not taking to becoming a vampire very well. Between attacking Sookie and trashing the house, Sookie and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) have their hands full. Lafayette's crisis of conscience leads him to the brink of staking his cousin.

Fiery Flashbacks: Terry (Todd Lowe) and Patrick's (Scott Foley) story is bordering on American Horror Story territory with the fire and the sleepwalking. While we won't ever complain about having Scott Foley on our television, we do think the clippy, dark Iraq flashbacks are more confusing and less supernatural scary. And it would be so much cooler if Terry was the one killing all these people. 

True Death Yet?: For former rivals, Eric and Bill have a lot of loyalty when it comes to the torture chamber. The Authority does everything to get them to turn on each other but in the end it's Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare) that is their Get Out of the True Death Free card. For now

The Authority is this weird mysterious power, and their headquarters remind us of the Ministry of Magic in Harry Potter. But Chris Meloni plays a good leader with a mysterious agenda. In this episode there was basically an info dump about this heretofore unmentioned vampire bible and the importance of vampire religious ceremonies. But the gist is, mainstreaming is good. Sanguinistas are bad.

Origin Story: One of our favorite aspects of True Blood is the relationship between Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and her maker, Eric. We loved how they first met and meeting Pam—before she was a killer vamp she was a pretty darn cool madam. And bonus, Eric wears a top hat. 

"Are you kidding? That means you did something right. That's getting to eat the pie without having to buy the cow." —Jason

"Knock. Knock. Who's there? Me, a vampire. Ahhhhh. It burns, it burns! I'm going to leave you alone, go eat your neighbor." —Store worker

"What the f--k, mama? I spent the last f--king hour down there fixing your f--king sink for f--king free. So if you don't like it, I say f--k, that's too f--king bad." —Hoyt

"As your maker I command you not to bite these two humans. Comprende? I think she got it." —Pam

"I'm trying to stay away from politics as much as possible." —Eric

Did you think Eric and Bill can weasel their way out of this one? Do you like learning about Pam and Eric back in the day? Will Tara settle down? Sound off in the comments!

(Originally published June 17, 2012, at 7 p.m. PT)

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