Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, Chris Hemsworth

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Dear Ted:
Just heard that Miley Cyrus and Chris Hemsworth are being seriously considered for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Considering that she is marrying his brother, won't that be really, really awkward?

Dear All in the Family:
But how deliciously scandalous (and yes, awkward!!!) would that be?! Talk about brotherly competition. Either way, it won't happen. And not just because of Liam Hemsworth's objections. Chris is so not into the Fifty Shades fodder—even if he'd be way hot in the role. Miley on the other hand? Loves the books, but is probably too smart to strap on any S&M gear.

Dear Ted:
Ok, thanks a lot. Because of you, I am completely and utterly obsessed with 2 things in this world: Fifty Shades of Grey and Matt Bomer. I spent the entire weekend watching White Collar and how have I been missing that all this time? So, what are the chances Matt would entertain the idea of playing Christian Grey? Thoughts?!

Dear Bomer-ific:
The chances? Slim to none. And slim isn't into whips and chains. But that might not be the worst thing for our fave real life Disney prince. Sure, we're thrilled to see him get all naked in Magic Mike, but I'm hearing the tawdry stuff may not be his par-tick brand of sexiness.

Dear Ted:
I know he married Claire Danes a while ago but I want to know about Hugh Dancy. Does he have a Blind Vice?

Dear Homeland Hubby:
If being so devilishly handsome were a Vice, then he might. But as of now he's moniker free. Hopefully that news won't make you ugly cry like dear Claire (she really can perform a crying scene, can't she?!).

Dear Ted:
Is Sammy Sniffles from the Twilight Saga? Robert Pattinson looks like a man who never sleeps.

Dear Coked Out Cullen:
Sammy is not R.Pattz. And I'll throw you a bone: It ain't K.Stew either! But you could have figured that out, babe, because both of 'em are already in the Blind Vice Superstars' Hall of Naughtiness—and neither his nor her moniker has been revealed.

Dear Ted:
So many people like to compare Rob and Kristen. But these two are the main stars in Twilight and people want to see who is going to have a stronger career after Breaking Dawn Part 2 is over and done with. SWATH is doing well, though Kristen got mixed reviews. Same with Rob in Cosmopolis (seems like he got more positive reviews). With all his new projects coming up for Rob, doesn't seem that Rob will be one to score an Oscar nom before Kristen. I really like both Rob and Kristen but I'm pulling for Kristen a lot more. Your thoughts?

Dear Oscar Baiting:
I've always said I suspect K.Stew will snatch the honor first…and I still think that's true. Sure, she may be packing her résumé with popcorn fodder and action flicks lately, but she'll always have a penchant for the dramatic stuff that Academy voters love. She just hasn't found the exact right project yet.

Dear Ted:
Did Portia Vajazzle and Stinky Carrot-Crotch's movie come out yet?

Dear No:
Soon though. Real soon.

Dear Ted:
All this casting talk has me thinking about the possibility of a Justice League movie! I'm a huge superhero fan. First, do you think it would even come close to The Avengers' success? Second, how hot would Kellan Lutz be as Aquaman?! Third, I'd love to see them replace Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. And lastly, who would your ideal cast be?

Dear Superhero Envy:
Don't we already have enough to cast, Z, what with Fifty Shades and Catching Fire?! You really ready to open a whole new can of worms with the Justice gang? As for your other Q's, the Marvel movies all did fairly well on their own. Superman Returns and The Green Lantern? Not so much. But hey, if they could convince Christian Bale to get his Batman onboard—and maybe director Christopher Nolan too—there is hope.

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