Salma Hayek

Nick Sadler/

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We love purple the way that we love head-to-toe rubber dresses.

So, in other words, rarely. In very, very small doses. Apparently Salma Hayek cannot read our minds.

We have no problem with Bottega Veneta, the label that supplied this sugary rock-candy-bedazzled cavity-inducer of a dress, which the actress wore to the Prometheus premiere in London...

We also have no quarrel with the purple lollipop-league platform pumps either, or, in principle, the BV clutch. And let's make something perfectly clear—we would kill a drifter if it meant getting a body like Salma's.

But put it all together and something goes terribly wrong, like a tray of violet candy at grandma's that's been sitting out in the parlor since 1983.

Monochrome is a very, very tough look to pull off and if the Savages actress can't whip this outfit into submission, maybe nobody can.

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