Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Rumer Willis

Jean Baptiste Lacroix/

Dear Ted:
Is it true that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are back together? Or is this simply a PR stunt to cover the fact that Ashton has been spending a lot more time with Demi's daughter, Rumer Willis?

Dear Moore is Less:
Hardly, Moo. Ashton and Demi are over—as much as I did love the cougarific couple when they were on. And I don't see them getting back anytime, well, ever. In fact, I can almost guarantee that pals of Demi will make sure of it. As for Ashton and Rumer? It's not as scandalous as you make it seem. The two have a relationship and it makes sense that they would have contact even after Ashton's marriage to her mom ended.

Dear Ted:
So I was just wondering if Mila Kunis has any Vices? I thought she was Kiki Doheny for the longest time, but some of the clues certainly don't fit her. She is such a cool chick!

Dear Cool Chicks Vice Too:
Yes, she does. One of my fave monikers too. And it ain't Kiki, you're right about that. Though, Mila and Kiki do have quite a bit in common. Mila is a little bit more brassy than even Kiki will ever hope of being.

Dear Ted:
Where has Jake Gyllenhaal been lately? He seems off the Hollywood radar lately. Have you noticed? Same with Jennifer Aniston. Maybe they just needed a break from the paps. Sure, that must be it.

Dear JSqaured:
They're enjoying some well-earned away time out of the limelight, P. These two definitely generate a lot of attention when it comes to their love lives, but since Jake is more or less single at the moment (spending most of his time filming projects or scoring family time), there aren't juicy enough pictures worth selling. And Jen and her man have taken their romance way off the radar—that's how you know it's really serious.

Dear Ted:
I love the show Revenge. Please dish! Is there any dirt? Love you!

Dear Every Rose Has Its Thorne:
You'd think with so much juicy secrets being revealed on the boob tube, there might be something as equally scandalous going on behind-the-scenes. But you would be wrong (how very Charlotte Grayson of you). Ever since rumors of romance between Emily VanCamp and Daniel Grayson himself, the gorgeous Joshua Bowman, simmered to, well, nothing, this set has been gossip-free.

Dear Ted:
I'm developing a pretty strong crush on Seth MacFarlane and can't wait to see his movie Ted this summer. Any Vicey behavior I should know about before I let my crush go any further? Thanks!
Anastasia Beaverhausen

Dear Hell Yeah!
And how! Let's just say, if you knew his Vice, your crush might be—no pun intended—crushed. But then again, maybe not. It hasn't stopped him from landing babes in the past. Love your nomenclature, by the way, babe.

Dear Ted:
Ted, Ted, picked the wrong week to go on va-cay, sweetie! After all these years—since 2008—you've been waiting for this moment and what happens? You're MIA. Well I'm here to give you hugs and champagne because anything with a Non and a sten has no relevancy in this world. From the Vanity Fair Honeymoon Game to the MTV Movie Awards next morning goodbyes to the fuzzy Canada photos to the Christmas and New Year holidays to Twilight cast slip ups to the embrace in front of the Cosmopolis audience then the pic with Kristen Stewart clasping her hands with bowed head says it all. These two are in love and solidly together. Give it up Nonstens. So cheers to all the Robsteners and shippers in the world for being always right. And to one of the biggest Robsten lovers, here here, Ted, cheers to you.

Dear Paradise and Back:
If you seriously think I wasn't enjoying the Robsten goodness even away from the office, gal, you're delusional! And why the heck can't we keep continuing the Cannes celebration this week? Those pics were hot, after all, and K.Stew has never looked as good as when she was done up in red to support her man, Robert Pattinson.

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