X Factor Upfront, Demi Lovato, Britney Spears, Simon Cowell

Frank Micelotta/FOX

Dear Ted:
I agree with you about Britney Spears and Demi Lovato being picked for The X Factor, but I worry about these to emotionally fragile women being pounded by Simon Cowell's sarcastic digs during the season. Can they stand up to that? It could be a delicate situation. Cowell wasn't exactly nurturing last season. My five rescues send their best to you (dog, cats and ferrets)!

Dear Tabloid Trauma:
You forget, Peg, that going through all the drama has given this duo some seriously thick skin. Plus, they've come a long way from those darker days—one more so than the other, must confess—so I'm excited to see what happens on live TV. I wouldn't worry about Simon though, when it comes down to it, he's a sweetie pie and isn't setting Brit-Brit or Demi up for failure.

Dear Ted:  
Why is Eva Longoria at Cannes? Don't you, like, have to be in movies? Xoxo

Dear Go Back to Wisteria:
Me-ow, Susie! With a bite like that, you'd be perfect to fit in with those Desperate Housewives dames. As for Eva's French connection, haven't you heard that anyone and everyone goes to Cannes?! Not just the marquee stars. It's the it place to be. Plus, maybe she's shopping around for a big screen flick while she's over there. Maybe Over My Dead Body 2?

Dear Ted:  
I know that Taylor Kitsch is your first choice for Finnick Odair, but do you think his so-so films at the box office—John Carter and Battleship—are endangering his chances of being cast? If Taylor doesn't get the part, who's your second choice? I say the gorge Matt Bomer!

Dear Bombs Away:
Our poor, poor, Tay! We should probably go and soothe his woes, right Lynne? But while his last two popcorn films haven't exactly, uh, performed, I don't think Kitsch is in jeopardy of being blacklisted by casting directors. That said, do I think he'll nab Catching Fire? We'll have to wait and see—should be casting any second now.

Dear Ted:
I absolutely love your column. My new Weiner dog, who I named Oscar Meyer, does too. Anyway, I have a question about the ever-lovely Leonardo DiCaprio. The guy seems to be a pretty legit actor. He's been in two of my favorite movies (Departed and Inception). Yet, he never really seems to get any awards. The closest he ever got to the golden statue was The Aviator. It almost seems...personal. Please, tell me. Did our gorgeous guy piss anyone off who is taking his or her revenge by impacting his chances at getting an Oscar? Does he have bad timing? Love you tons!

Dear Remember J. Edgar?
Because that movie was awful—dreadfully boring and so desperately wanting to be Oscar fodder. Which, in my opinion, is one of Leo's problems. He needs to pick good movies, instead of movies he thinks Oscar voters will get all googly eyed over. That said, Mr. DiCaprio has two films coming up—The Great Gatsby and Django Unchained—that should entice the Academy and raise some serious eyebrows, respectively. His Oscar hopes aren't shattered yet. Just peep the newly released Great Gatsby trailer if you're still having doubts!

Dear Ted:
I adore Carrie Underwood but I think American Idol needs someone who has had slightly more longevity, is a superstar and can still appeal to the younger generation with her wit and personality. So who fits this trifecta? I'm thinking Madonna, with Janet Jackson and Mary J. Blige close runners up. If the show wants to skew a bit younger, then I'd have to go with Lady Gaga.

Dear All American:
Hmmm, interesting suggestions, Lil. Must say, I don't think Madge would do it in a million, billion years. It's not like she'd really be the star, now would she? Janet, maybe. Of everyone you listed, she'd probably be who Idol producers would target.

Dear Ted:
So Veronica Bee-Stings found love, eh? My question is: How bad is her dirty past? A little bit naughty or full on nasty...I'm wondering if VBS ever did drugs, or if she's just your regular starlet who loves sleeping around (hardly a rarity in L.A.). Also, how well is she doing at keeping her secrets hidden from the media? Have any of her past conquests been put off by the fact that she's been around more times than a pony at a county fair? If anyone found out about her habits, would her image get ruined or is she seen as kind of a bad girl anyway...

Dear Questions Galore:
Geez, Lolita! You sure do have a lot of questions about our Ronnie. So here goes: And how, she's totally smitten right now. Pretty dirty. No drugs, just the more risqué stuff—but the real naughtiness is why she's bedding the respective dudes. Pretty well! While Veronica's secrets wouldn't be the most shocking thing in the world, they'd certainly tarnish her (fairly) squeaky-clean name.

Dear Ted:
What has Stinky Carrot-Crotch been up to lately? Have his bedroom skills improved since hooking up with Portia Vagazzle? Thanks!

Dear Take a Whiff:
Probably not. But his career certainly has!

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