Tyra Banks, Traci Bingham

Jeff Vespa/Getty Images; Jean-Paul Aussenard/Getty Images

It's not as though Sharon Stone wasn't trying last week at the annual Macy's Passport AIDS fundraiser. There she was, talking all about what a "bad girl" she was, and so forth, trying her damnedest to get folks to bid on pricey items before the fashion show itself. Not many takers. Was it the economy? Was it the Palin pall?

Was it Elizabeth Taylor barely making it through her speech alive? Why cohost Kathy Ireland sat there like a dumb douche bump on a log while Taylor sputtered, instead of helping the damn old woman, is considerably beyond me. "Someone really should help Elizabeth," whispered Traci Bingham, my seatmate for the show. "It's really sad."

Yeah, but not nearly as upsetting as the fact that that rich-ass bastard fiancé of Bingham's still hasn't set a wedding date, five years after their damn engagement. "You should take that rock and run," I bitched. "Don't worry, I just might," Trace responded about the huge 10-carat, marquis-cut stone. "I've been thinking about it."

T.B.'s also got another boob-tube show on the brain, something she says she's bringing out with Fox next spring. "It's like America's Next Top Model," said Bingham, "only they'll act, and perform and be athletic, as well." She added, "Like me!"

"Will you be as bitchy as Tyra and make fun of the contestants like she loves to do?" I asked. "No. Don't you hate that," Traci snapped back. Uh, yeah.

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