Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana


Dear Ted:
Does Zoe Saldana have a Blind Vice? Even though she's not pretty to me and watching her act is like watching paint dry, she has to have some skeletons in her closet, right? I think she might be Consuela Conveyor-Belt.

Dear Can't Be Tamed:
What?! Leah, hate to disagree with ya but Zoe is gorgeous. And while she might have just split with BF Bradley Cooper—who, of course, has made a name for himself in the Blind Vice Hall of Fame—she is not our handsy hell raisin' Consuela. Consuela sure is pretty too though.

Dear Ted:
Let's say that all of the closeted Blind Vice stars, both male and female, woke up tomorrow and made the awesome decision to come out to the public. Who do you think would receive the most media coverage and why? How about the least?

Dear oBVious:
Toothy Tile
, of course! As for the least media coverage, that's hard to say—you know magazines love their "I'm Gay!" headlines, so I think any guy or gal that came out would get some time in the limelight. Maybe Jerry Menage-e-No?

Dear Ted:
You already said that both January Jones and Christina Hendricks are not Harriet Talons. How about their Mad Men costar Elisabeth Moss?

Dear Death Becomes Her:
Nope, while Harriet's series certainly has as much (if not oodles more!) drama as Mad Men, she is not one of those AMC minxes. She's a bit more glamorous than Ms. Moss—at least, Harriet certainly thinks so.

Dear Ted:
I'm beginning to think Wilmer Valderrama has the most active dating life in Hollywood. His list of famous girlfriends must be as long as his IMDB page by now. Not to mention all of his famous bromances...So what's the deal with this guy? I know he's dated plenty of Vicers, but does he have his own moniker? If so, any hints? Love the column, you're the best!

Wilmer has certainly been linked with an impressive roster of celeb cuties. From Lindsay Lohan to Demi Lovato to Minka Kelly (though the last two are apparently just "friends"), he's one of Tinseltown's leading playboys. And he has never kept and of his horny ways secret, so why should I try to hide 'em? He loves Vicers but isn't one…yet.

Dear Ted:
So, right to the chase, is Billy Bend-Over Henry Cavill?

Dear Right to the Point:
No. But great guess.

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