Jessica Simpson

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Dear Ted:
Don't you think that Jessica Simpson has milked her pregnancy for all it's worth? She has made outrageous statements on talk shows and you can hardly find a picture of her without her hand on her bump. She isn't even married yet. We have a new kitten from the shelter and just love him!

Dear Career Bump:
Aw, c'mon Anne! First of all, Jess had that whole billion dollar merch business before her bun in the oven so she's pretty set financially speaking. As for the late night chit-chat? Jessica has always been known to say "outrageous" things (chicken of the sea, anyone?), so I hardly think that's to blame on mommy brain. She's excited—as she should be—let's just be happy for her.

Dear Ted:
I soooo want Ryan Kwanten as Finnick in Catching Fire! He would be perfect.

Dead Golden Boy:
Ry is one of the only fellas besides Taylor Kitsch (duh) that I will even entertain the idea of playing our beloved Finnick. He's definitely got the tanned and toned bod and True Blood has shown us he can do seductive and emotional. A perfect fit.

Dear Ted:
How is Morgan Mayhem's career doing lately? Is she starting to get back out there and actually using her talent? Do you think she will stay sober now and use talent to stay in the limelight…instead of her Vicey antics?

Dear Close but no Cigar:
She has a career, which is a start. Lots of people would have considered it DOA for a while there. As for her sobriety, it's touch and go, but Morgs is definitely focused on putting her talented foot first—at least as far as the public is concerned.

Dear Ted:
Are Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter really over or is this break up just as iffy as the last one? I thought they got married and had us all fooled! Any chance I am right and the breakup rumors are just to keep us guessing?

Dear Mind Games:
If history has taught us anything with these two, it will only be a matter of time before they're back together again—breakups never really seem to stick, do they? That is, if things don't get hot and heavy between her and Wilmer Valderrama first…anyone else think this fair twosome doth protest a bit too much?

Dear Ted:
With all the Vice-worthy behavior going down in H'wood, how come we don't hear too much about the bearded ladies, so to speak? The focus seems to be mostly on the guys. I'm sure there are plenty of homo-ladies out there with guy beards. Can you give us a good actress-has-a-beard Vice soon? Hope so! I like my Vices to be equal opportunity! Love ya!

Dear 50/50:
Pat, I love me a lesbo-licious B.V. too, but the truth is there just aren't as many bearded babes as there are men faking it in this town. Probably because chicks can hang out without too many gay rumors hitting the tabloids. Either way, I'll keep my eyes and ears on alert for you!

Dear Ted:
Ok, both Paul Wesley and Ian Somerhalder have Vices per you; that leaves their Vampire Diaries costar, the lovely Nina. Does she have a Vice? Thanks

Dear Yes:
It's a trio deal, doll.

Dear Ted:
Love your column and read it every day. Just wondering if you have heard anything about the Fifty Shades trilogy and if there has been any Hollywood talk about making them into a movie? Wondering who could possibly encompass Christian Grey and bring him to life…

Dear Google Alert:
Where've you been, Jules?! There's definitely going to be a sexy big screen adaptation of Fifty Shades. As for who should play the salacious Mr. Grey? More on that later…

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