Bonus Blind! Another Gay Star Bites the Closeted Dust

Barry Wanger-Banger thinks he’s Toothy Tile or something, sheesh

By Ted Casablanca Mar 26, 2012 2:32 PMTags
E! Placeholder Image

It takes a lot to shock us here at AT.

That said, we were pretty taken aback recently by some personal plans announced by the hunky Barry Wanger-Banger, a pretty cool gay dude who's never made a point of hauling out the beard factor for his career.

Until now, that is. So color us plum, then, when Barry just revealed…

He's taken the "relationship" he's got going with his latest "girlfriend" to the next level.

Barry's certainly intimating he's going to marry this poor woman (who we seriously doubt knows the full extent of what her man prefers to do between the sheets when she's not around), and the tabloids are certainly biting this possible-engagement line hook, line and sink-her.

Come again? This is the same guy who in the past has proven so pathetically inept at the dating-a-female thing, his idea of a hot time at home is playing basketball out back with the guys? This is with the chick hanging around inside the house, mind you, wondering what the ef she's even doing there in the first place.

Even George Clooney knows not to invite the gals over while he's playing B-ball with the boys! Why can't Barry figure this simple rule out?

Well, because being with the women—and certainly getting engaged to them—was never really his idea in the first place. Nope, we've got a real Jackie Bouffant situation going on here, babes, where Barry's creative team decided it was high time Wanger-Banger's career got, well, bangin' again.

And what better way to do that than with fake matrimony?

Well, fake babies. And that very well may be the next step.

AND IT AIN'T: Jonah Hill, Justin Timberlake, Alex Pettyfer