Survivor's Colton Cumbie Reveals He Did Not Have Appendicitis, and His Master (Evil?) Plan!

Season's biggest baddie insists he gave an "Emmy-winning performance" and in real life, he has no haters

By Kristin Dos Santos Mar 22, 2012 9:04 PMTags
Colton, Survivor, One WorldRobert Voets/CBS

Survivor's Colton Cumbie is arguably one of the most hateable reality-show contestants of all time, known for backstabbing, racial slurs and…after last night's episode, [Spoiler Alert!] acute "appendicitis" that lead to his shocking exit.

But guess what? Colton didn't actually have appendicitis! So what's the real story? And does this season's take-your-breath-away villain have any regrets about all the ugly things he said and did? Here's what Colton just spilled:

"It wasn't actually appendicitis," Colton said today in his post-exit interview. "I had a severe bacterial infection in the lining of my stomach and my intestines. That was causing the headaches and the pain." Colton reveals he was flown to a hospital where he was treated with antibiotics, and then had to be treated further once he got back home. Now, though he quips, "I'm all better. I'm fat again!"

OK, so physically, he's 100 percent. But helllooo: What about mentally? How is Colton dealing with all the internet hate from people watching the show? As Colton puts it, "When you watch the show you think I'm evil and you want to just stab me in the face...Obviously, watching it, in certain parts like episode four, I was uncomfortable. I don't want to be seen as someone who treats people that way. But in my personal life, there haven't been any people who have attacked me...They all say, 'You're really not like you are in television!'"

Ahhh…The old Omarosa defense: He's really not like that in real life, people! But actually, instead of blaming it on reality-show editing and trickery, Colton insists he was mindfully acting his way through the game, saying he gave an "Emmy-worthy performance" of which "Susan Lucci would be proud." He adds: "I really can con people. God did not bless me with a high IQ. He blessed me with charisma!"

Colton also contends that had his GI tract not flared up, he would have gone all the way to the end. "I had a producer tell me on day three, 'You are the first player we've had where everyone was on day three and you're on day 33.'" Colton had a master plan that included getting rid of Alicia next ("I knew about her relationship with the women") and then picking off the others until Jay, Troy, Kim and Colton remained in the final four. "I knew there was no way I was going to win the final immunity challenge, and my argument to the others would have been that I literally had to claw, scratch and bite my way to the end."

But alas, his time was cut short, and that is Colton's biggest (only?) regret. "I feel like I don't have closure to my game," he lamented today. "Had they all grown brains and said 'Let's get rid of Colton and the idol!' I would have said props to them. But I got outed by something that was out of their control and my control. That's what's so disheartening. It's like I was in the middle of story and ran out of ink."

And now he's dying to go back for some kind of All-Star installment. "I feel like Natasha Beddingfield. The rest is still unwritten. I want to go back and write it."

Do you think Colton's fierce game-playing tactics excuse his offensive behavior? Would you want to see him on Survivor again? Comments section, friends. Be there.

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