Madonna, Jennifer Lopez

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Dear Ted:
I just read that Madonna's new music video is premiering on American Idol. Did her team pull this move as a kind of warning to Jennifer Lopez, because J.Lo is also doing the younger BF thing (à la Madge)?

Dear The Claws Are Out:
What a bizarre—but hilarious—conspiracy theory, Moo-Moo. And while the Material Girl definitely wants us to think of her as young and hip (hence the collaboration with Nicki Minaj, me thinks), the A.I. preview has less to do with Jenny staying away from her crop of boy-toys and more to do with trying to generate buzz for her song.

Dear Ted:
I've been wondering: I have always heard how close Demi Moore and her girls remained to Bruce Willis (Bruce and Ashton Kutcher also seemed like besties) even after their respective re-marriages. But in light of Demi's very public past year and recent emergency, what kind of part has Bruce played?

Dear Back in the Game:
The good dad part. Because he's there for his daughters, and as for his ex-wifey, he's staying silent and avoiding hot spots like the Kabbalah center.

Dear Ted:
What is it that Ryan Gosling, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ryan Reynolds see in Blake Lively? I mean, she has a nice fashion sense, but she looks like every other blonde girl in California. I know what she gets out of it, but what do they? I always thought she and Penn Badgley looked cuter.

Dear Man Trap:
Blakey-poo and Penn had that whole puppy-love thing going, which I agree was très adorable. But she's looking to amp up her dating life to go hand-in-hand with (what she hopes will be) her big-screen career. And that's why she's got A-listers like the gorgeous Ryans in her crosshairs. But what they see in her is a bombshell broad who knows her way around a Blind Vice, ya dig?

Dear Ted:
I think Michelle Williams should play Elizabeth Taylor. One thing Michelle and Liz have in common is that they both lost great loves tragically and had to endure it publicly. They both showed great strength and bloomed afterwards.
—Miss P

Dear Blonde Ambition:
While their personal lives may have a thing or two in common (probably less than you think, Miss P), I'm going to have to poo-poo this casting choice. First, because Michelle isn't going to take on another real-life legend so close to Marilyn Monroe. Second, she's just too soft-spoken to take on Liz.

Dear Ted:
I keep hearing about all these same shows! 30 Rock, Glee and so on, but I never hear about the Vices of some pretty popular shows like NCIS or The Big Bang Theory! Can you pretty please with a cherry on top talk about them? How do the casts get along with each other? Ever since I started reading your blog, my college homework days have been less stressful!

Dear Change the Channel:
Vice-wise, the two shows you named don't even compare. Sure, Big Bang has a Vice star among its cast, but nothing close to the juiciness of Glee's handful of Vicers or 30 Rock's notorious (and naughty) star Alec Baldwin. As for NCIS? Forget about it.

Dear Ted:
I'm brilliant. I figured out your new BV Soheila Stuff-It. Its tooootally Sinéad O'Connor, right? Older, down-trodden, weird, whines about not finding love, famously shaved head, from across the pond? Let me know!

Dear You're Kidding, Right?
Ha! No, Soheilia is far more beautiful—well, at least she was—and definitely more relevant.

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